UPJOKE

Frozen Chicken Jokes

How did the frozen chicken cross the road?

In a shopping bag

He saw the frozen chicken

George was taking care of a parrot for his aunt. This parrot was a very nasty parrot. It cussed and screamed and made fun of George, so he took the parrot and put it in the freezer.
The parrot kept screaming and insulting George until finally it stopped.

George thought to himself, "On no! ...

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(NSFW) So my girlfriend hit me with a frozen chicken

My girlfriend hit me with a frozen chicken.
She was getting something out of the freezer. Her skirt was lifted. Man, I was so horny at that moment. So I took her underpants down and started to fuck her. When suddenly, she grabbed a chicken and hit me in the head with it. I was surprised, and aske...

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I just put a whole frozen chicken up my arse

April fools! It was just a drumstick.

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Greg got a black eye

One day Greg arrives at work with a black eye. His co-worker Mike says, "What the hell happened to you, man?

- My wife hit me, said Greg.
- What do you mean she hit you?
- Well yes, the other day I see her bending over the freezer with her little ass waddling in her tight skirt. It was...

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A parrot swallows one of his owner’s Viagra tablets.

His owner, disgusted, puts him in the freezer for 30 minutes to cool off.

Later, when he opens the freezer door, he finds the parrot sweating. “Why are you sweating?” he asks.

The parrot replies, “Do you know how hard it is to open the legs of a frozen chicken?”

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*The Viagra package*

The man was just prescribed Viagra to help his love life.


Eager to try it out, he takes one as soon as he gets home, and waits for his wife to come home from work, but in his excitement he forgets and leaves the package open on the table and his cockatiel eats all of them.

...

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Splashed out and finally got a microwave oven. Its one of the really high tech ones.

Its got buttons and settings for all kinds of foods, even popcorn. Its got multiple power settings and a memory.

So I got a whole frozen chicken and popped it in. Pressed "Defrost", then "Chicken" then, "1.8 kgs".

The display showed 15 minutes and I pressed "Start".

Then the mi...

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Two friends talking about sex

Just saw a joke that remembered this one and I tried to translate.


Two friends meet at the bar. One of them has a black eye.
- What happened to you? asks the other.
- I got hit by a frozen chicken in the face, that's all! - answers the friend.
- But how did that happen?...

A parrot accidentally swallowed a viagara tablet and went berserk

He started humping everything he could lay his wings on .

The owner called the vet who said that the overheating could damage his brain so asked him to put the parrot in a freezer.

The owner somehow caught the parrot and forced into the freezer and forced it shut.

After 10 mins...

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So this guy applied to leave the USSR. Part of the process was random police searches for anti soviet material. Unfortunately for him, he had a parrot that would curse Stalin in language that would make a sailor’s ears bleed.

One day he hears a knock on the door. The loud rapping of the KGB. Thinking quickly, he grabs the parrot and stuffs him in the freezer where he was hoarding a frozen chicken. The KGB do their inspection and leave with a grunt of approval. Once they leave he gets the half frozen parrot out and thaws ...

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A guy's parrot takes Viagra, he gets really horny. The guy stuffs the parrot in the freezer to cool him down and he forgets the little guy inside.

The next day he opens the freezer's door, the parrot all sweaty:- oh, man , it's very hard to spread the legs of this frozen chicken

A man and his wife.

A man goes to confession. He sits in the booth and says "Bless me Father, for I have sinned."

The priest asks him what his sin was.

"Father, I made love to my wife."

The priest is somewhat taken aback, and explains to the man that lovemaking between married couples is permitted ...

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