UPJOKE

French Girl Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The tourist and the French girl

An American tourist visited a 5-star hotel in Paris.
As he sat at the bar, enjoying his drink, a red hot French girl in a red dress, came to him and said something in French, which he wasn't able to understand.
Unable to get over her heavenly body mixed with the heady aroma of her French perfu...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pete met a French girl

Pete grown up in a faraway suburb, however, he was lucky, he got hired by a big company in the downtown area.

On his first day to work, he met a French exchange colleague, he instantly had a crush on her. But he kept silent all the time about it.

It was the Bastille Day, the Fr...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A French Girl gets her Period

My friend's family is French.


His sister had this huge French flag for a bed sheet.


Then one night she got her period.


Imagine her shock when she woke up on the Japanese Flag.

How does a French girl hold her liquor?

By the ears.

I tried to get to 2nd base with this French girl I met at the zoo

but I couldn't get past ze bra.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An American guy is talking to his friend about a French girl he likes...

"I've always had a thing for French women!" he says "So I can't wait to tell my crush that!"

"That's not right," says his friend. "It's not good to generalize her like that it'll make her think you see all French as the same! I've had a career in International Relations so I have some advice ...

What's the difference between a French girl and a bowling ball?

You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just finished having terrible sex with a french girl...

She kept yelling "Wee Wee Wee" and it was very off putting. She should have gone before we started

a french girl married a texas guy..

After a while together, she is complaining:
- listen, John, when you kiss me with a chewing gum in your mouth, I can live with that, when you make love to me with your boots and hat on - i can bear with it, but please take your cigar out when we do 69!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had sex with a French girl once.

I was in some city, not sure which one exactly. We went at it for hours on end in every position we could think of.
In the end, neither one of us managed to come.

I think it was Toulouse.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife told me to paint her like one of my "french girls".

To which I replied, "oh shit..(how did she find out about that)".

I married a French girl and had three sons

We named our first son Antoine.

We named our second son Anteux.

We named our third son Antthree.

How many girls do you have to date before you’ve dated literally tons of girls?

Half an American girl or 14 French girls.

Parisian vacation

A woman took a vacation to France some years ago with one of her girl- friends. Her husband drove her to the airport and wished her a good trip. The wife asked, "Would you like me to bring something
back for you?"

The husband laughed and says, "How about a French girl!"

The woman ke...

A better version of a joke I just read

I asked a French girl if she smoked, would she prefer marijuana or tobacco?

She said..... ouied

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Longish literary-ish joke translated from Russian

Russia in the 1930s. Winter. Poverty. Famine. It's freezing cold. A poorly dressed kid is running across a courtyard with an armful of deadwood, followed by an angry caretaker.

The kid is running and thinking to himself:
>I gotta put an end to this. After all, I come from a nice family,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

To all the single men out there - a warning

I'm telling you guys this story so you don't make the mistake I did.

I am a single guy looking for love, and yesterday I saw an ad in the 'Singles' section of the local newspaper that immediately grabbed my interest. It read like this:



*Single white female seeks male companions...

french vs german , who won ?

a drunk old man was found crying inconsolably by his friend .

"what's wrong ? "

"i did something terribly bad that to this day I terribly regret"

"but what have you done ?!"

"do you remember when the germans came to tunisia for the french...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.