UPJOKE

Four Years Jokes

Chuck Norris actually died four years ago

Death just hasn't worked up the courage to tell him yet.

I spent four years at college and didn't learn anything...

It's really my own fault. I had a double major in psychology and reverse psychology.

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A lady had lost her husband almost four years ago. Her daughter was constantly calling her to get back into the dating world. Finally, she said she'd go out, but didn't know anyone. Her daughter immediately replied, "Mom, I have someone for you to meet!

Well, it was an immediate hit.

They took to one another and after dating for six weeks, he asked her to join him for a weekend in Spain.

Their first night there, she undressed as he did.

There she stood nude, except for a pair of black panties, he in his birthday suit.

Lo...

Four years ago, I asked the girl of my dreams out on a date. Today, I asked her to marry me.

She said no both times.

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What do you get for spending four years with a bunch of virgins?

A slice of blue cake!!!

I've spent the last four years looking for my ex-wife's killer...

...but no one will do it.

While admiring some dinosaur bones in the Museum of Natural History, a tourist asks the guard, "How old are they?"

The guard replies, "They are 73 million, four years, and six months old."

"That's a rather exact number," says the tourist. "How do you know their age so precisely?"

"Well," answers the guard, "The dinosaur bones were seventy three million years old when I started working here, and tha...

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I spent the past four years in Yale.

Now I can’t even get a yob as a yanitor. Fucking yudicial system.

Four years is enough...

Politicians and diapers should both be changed regularly...and for the same reason.

A man and a woman meet in heaven and fall in love.

They walk up to God and ask to be married.

God says give me some time and I'll get back to you.

Three or four years pass and God finally tells the man and woman that he can have them married.

A few more years pass and the man and woman fall out of love. They approach God once ...

A time traveler walks into a bar, but the bartender refuses to serve him.

"Why the hell not?" he asks.

"We don't serve *any* time travelers here," the bartender explains, "not since one got stinking drunk and trashed the place four years ago."

"Four years ago, you say..."

Jokes on reddit are like US presidents.

You might see a new one every four years or so.

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you worked four years for your bachelors

black people worked 60 for their masters

In my first year of college, I had 5 times the number of girlfriends that I had in my four years of high school.

5 x 0 = 0

I’ve been happily married for four years;

out of a total of 10.

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After graduating from college, a woman comes home and confesses to her father, "After four years of college, I ain't a virgin anymore."

"I'm very disappointed in you," says the father. "Ever since you were just a little one, you were very bright. You got amazing grades in school, and you were actually the first member of our rural family to get accepted into college. To afford it, I had to get a second mortgage on the farm and sell ...

He didn't win this election but he will run again in four years...

He's just Biden his time.

A little Catholic boy and a little Protestant girl, both about four years old, were growing up in Northern Ireland...

Even though Catholics and Protestants didn’t generally get along with one another, the two played together often, not understanding why their families said they shouldn’t be friends.

On one particularly hot day, the two were playing when the little girl said, “‘Tis terribly hot today. We sho...

If you're upset about the presidential election, just wait four years

then you'll be able to choose between Trump or Kanye

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John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!”

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the prize for the Best toast of the night”

She said, “Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?”

John said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life, sitting in chu...

I spent four years at college studying astronomy and didn't learn anything...

I guess you could say I took up space.

My wife carries condoms in her purse but I had a vasectomy four years ago.

Poor thing, she has become so forgetful.

After four years I finally had to buy condoms again.

Stupid expiration dates.

I'll have you know I did four years in Nam.

Turns out pedophilia is illegal there too.

Look, people... Trump is going to be President, so let's just hold our breath for the next four years.

With any luck, we'll turn blue.

I was out shopping tonight, when I saw a new brand of condoms called, "Olympic." Trying to get in to the spirit of things, I bought a pack and when I got home, I sprinted in singing the Olympic theme song and proudly showed them to my wife...

"Olympic condoms!?" she asked. "What makes them so special? Are we only going to use them once every four years?!"

Chuckling, I replied, "No,no! You see, there are three colors, Gold, Silver and Bronze!"

"What color are you going to wear tonight?" she asked cheekily.

"Gold of co...

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A man walks into a bar. Orders a drink. Spits it out. "This is only aged two years!". So the tender gives him another. He spits again. "This is only aged four years!". The tender gives him one more. The man spits it out. "The hell is this? It tastes like piss!"

The tender says, "It is. How old am I?"

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By tightly securing our Nuclear Arsenal through human, digital, mechanical and chemical means, we've been able to almost completely eliminate the risk of nuclear warhead explosions due to accidents or hostile attacks, however if these past four years have taught us something ...

... it's that we also need to equip our nukes with child locks.

hard times in the Soviet Union

One day, Ivan was at the doctor's office and the doctor told him "You're not a young man anymore, comrade. You need heart surgery."

Ivan said "All right, when can we do it?"

Doctor said "We can squeeze you in four years from today. That's a Monday."

Ivan replied "Can we make it ...

The German Baby Joke

So there is this couple and they adopt a baby from Germany. The baby never starts speaking, even after 3 years. After four years of the boy not speaking the couple take the boy to the doctor, but the doctor says that everything is developing fine, and that there is nothing wrong with him.

...

I hear they are putting Donald Trump on the penny.

It's to help motivate us to phase them out over the next four years.

Does anyone else remember seeing the Annoying Orange on YouTube?

I sure do.

He was in the white house for four years.

A man decided to march in the holy crusades...

Concluding that his wife should wear a chastity belt while he is gone, he locks up her nether regions and gives the key to his best friend. He tells him, “If I do not return within four years, unlock my wife and set her free to live a normal life.”

So, the husband leaves on horseback and abo...

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