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For Eat Jokes

In ancient Rome, a man was convicted for eating his wife.

The soldiers arrested him and bought him before Caesar.

"Do you have remorse for your heinous crime?" Caeser asked.

The Roman smiled and shook his head. He looked very happy.


Caeser was shocked. He told the guards

"To commit such an act is bad enough but to be happy a...

My wife keeps getting mad at me for eating leftovers straight from the fridge.

I told her that it's really hard to quit cold turkey.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Japanese are so wierd for eating ramen

Cookedmen taste so much better

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My asshole of a boss just yelled at me in front of everyone for eating chips at work.

“John, you’re a fucking croupier!”

Police arrested two kids, one for eating batteries, the other for eating fireworks.

They charged one and let the other one off.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s another name for eating a peacock’s ass?

Nom de plume.

Wrote my second joke ever, would like some feedback

Three lumberjacks; Sam, Dave, and Ben; are felling trees when a bear approaches them. Sam says "stay back or we'll kill you with our axes!" The bear responds, "woah! I'm a proud vegetarian. I just wanted to offer you all a nicely cooked dinner since you've all been working so hard and are probably h...

Why was I charged so much for eating chips?

The casino man said he'd never seen anything quite like it

I got banned from Olive Garden for eating too much breadsticks

“*how many did you eat?**”
“Olive them.”

My girlfriend was mad at me for eating at the dogs funeral

Well, I didn’t want it go to waste

I got fired for eating chips at work.

Well I really hated my job at the casino anyways.

You may think i'm odd for eating ham and pineapple sandwiches..

But hey..
That's just Hawaii roll.

A Muslim guy's girlfriend was killed for eating pork

RIP Haram bae

A man was arrested for eating...

He was at food COURT

Extra: Aussie man reprimanded by judge for eating candy and nuts in her courtroom.

Defense: "c'mon Judy, lighten up.. it's just my trial mix"

I got kicked out of biology class today for eating during the lesson...

Apparently it's called an "Eye disection" not "Eye digestion"

A man was fired for eating his Boss' sandwich...

Whoops, wrong sub.

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