UPJOKE

When does it become socially acceptable for adults to build little hideouts out of pillows again?

When they’re in their forties

My 5 year old son found videos meant for adults only...

...but he obviously couldn't understand the advanced calculus lectures from my university, so he stopped watching.

Why is Coffee for adults only?

Because it’s Not Tea.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Circus for adults...

In a circus, there’s an act with alligators. The trainer makes the alligator open it’s jaws. He then proceeds to drop his pants and sticks his dick between the alligators jaws. The alligator starts to slowly close it’s mouth. Just before it bites off the trainers dick, the trainer hits the alligator...

I went to the movie theater, and they said it was $6 for adults and $4 for children

So I said: "Alright, then give me two boys and a girl."

Have you been drinking sir?

"Been drinking tonight sir?" The policeman asked.

"I had one earlier, but that was all," I replied.

"I think you've had a few more than that sir. Would you step out of the van please."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because the Postman Pat ride isn't really designed for adults and ther...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between woman's breasts and a box of matches?

The matches are made for adults, but kids constantly grab'em and play with them.

The situation is quite opposite with breasts.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Apple iBoob

Given the recent slowdown in iPhone sales, Apple announced today that it will skip the wearables market and develop a line of digital implants for adults. The first product, shipping in the summer of 2016, is a breast enhancement device that can store and play music. The new Apple iBoobs, sold in pa...

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