UPJOKE

Fly Around Jokes

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Why did the condom fly around the room?

Because it was pissed off

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There were two guys at a rooftop bar. The first says "you see this beer in my hand? Three swigs of this can make me fly around this building." He takes three swigs, does a swan dive off the roof and flies around it.

As he settles to the ground the second man exclaimed "I need some of that!" The first man gives him the bottle which he takes three drinks from. The second man does an identical swan dive and falls to his death. The waiter approaches and exclaims, "HOLY CRAP SUPERMAN, WHAT THE HELL!"

Superman decides to fly around for fun. When he spots Wonder Woman naked on top of a tall building. He's always had a thing for Wonder Woman. So he swoops down does his business and flies away again. Wonder Woman notices the commotion, and says, "What was that?"

The Invisible Man rolls off of her and says, "I don't know, but it hurt like hell!'"

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Superman's day off

Superman has a very rare day off and decides to fly around to figure out how to spend it.

He flies over to Batman's place and approaches him. "Hey Batman, I have the day off want to hang out?". "Sorry Superman, I have to stop the Joker from killing my girlfriend". Superman replies, "Eh whatev...

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A well-to-do woman was on a safari around Kenya.

As the visited a remote village she was pestered by enormous black flies just buzzing around her face.
She turned to the guide and asked "What is it with these flies everywhere?"
The guide replied "Ah yes Missy, these are Bum Bum flies"
"What an odd name" she replied.
"Yess Miss...

An owl gets thirsty

An owl gets thirsty during his evening flight. He spots a group of 13 male owls hanging out in a tree and approaches them.

"Hey, I'm thirsty", he hoots, "Know any good bars around here to get a drink?"

"No", they hoot back, "But we're thirsty too. We'll go searching for a place to drin...

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Another joke to tell to someone you want to have sex with

Three flies are sealed in a jar: two females and one male.

One day, the male fly goes up to one of the female flies and says, "Hey, I know how to get out of this jar." The female fly asks, "Really?! How??" The male fly replies, "Fuck me and I'll tell you." The female fly thinks it over for a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy recently got dumped by his girlfriend...

He also lost his job and has no money. He decides to go to the bar to forget his problems. When he gets there there are two other guys sitting at the bar. One of them notices that the guy is sad, and walks over to him.

"Hey man, whats got you down?" the man says

"I lost my job and my ...

Out of towner gets stopped by the police

as the policeman was writing him a ticket flies kept circling around the cops head. The out of towner says back in my town we call them circle flies. The cop says why is that? The man responds they like to fly around and around horses asses. The cop says are you calling me a horses ass? The m...

I used to love telling jokes about penguins and ostriches

But it turns out they don't really fly around here

[Long] One day a Snail decides he’s moving a little too slow..

… so he decides it’s time to get a car. He doesn’t have a lot of money so he buys a used French sedan. The snail is so impressed how fast he gets around town.

From place to place he wizzes by this slug, beetle and worm friends. While that car isn’t a racer by any means, the snail doesn’t kno...

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