Flock Of Sheep Jokes

using as little material as possible. The engineer forms the flock into a circular shape and constructs a fence around it. The physicist builds a fence with an infinite diameter and pulls it together until it fits around the flock. The mathematicians thinks for a while, then builds a fence around hi... read more

A lambslide.

But there was nothing I could do to stop the bleating.

Tell them the election was stolen, then ask for money.

A white scientist is studying an African tribe.

One day, the tribe leaders wife has a white son.

The tribe leader approaches the scientist soon after.

"Well, we both know what happened here. No one else could have done it. You slept with my wife, I have to kill you." The tribe l... read more

The day is ending soon, and he has to herd the sheep into their pen for the night. The shepherd calls for his trusty sheepdog and asks it to get the job done.

"Right away, sir," says the sheepdog.

10 minutes later, and the shepherd glances out his window to see the sheep safely in thei... read more

It was... a lambush!!!

Passenger says to his friend, “wonder how many sheep there are.”

His friend takes a quick gander, shrugs, and remarks, “Looks like 82.”

“What? How do you know that??”

“Easy. I counted their legs and divided by 4.”

He ask him:

\+ Do sheep give a lot of wool?

\- Which? the white or the black ones?

The surprised hiker tells him:

\+ Well, the white ones.

\- About seven kilos of wool per season.

\+ And the black ones?

\- Seven kilos as well.

\+ And do... read more

when he decides to take a nap under a nearby tree.
After he falls asleep, a young woman walking on a nearby road decides to play a joke on him.
She lifts up his kilt, takes a ribbon from her hair, ties it around his manhood, and leaves with a giggle.
After awhile the Scotsman wakes up and w... read more

So she cut her hair short and dyed it black. Bought a snazzy convertible and went driving through the countryside.
On a back country road, she drove up to a large flock of sheep that were slowly crossing the road. As she sat there watching the flock she saw the farmer standing there.
She said ... read more

Stop me if you've herd it before.

An American anthropologist has been studying a tribe in Africa by living with them for a year.

One day, the chief called him into the chief's hut.

The chief sighed. "Well, my friend, it seems that we must ask you to leave." The anthropologist was surprised by this; he thought he had ... read more

The shepherd notices her approaching him and greets her.

“Oh, good morning young lady, maybe I can help you with something?”

“Yes, hi! I was walking on that path over there and I saw this enormous flock and I had to come and know more about them!”

“Sure thing. What is it that yo... read more

...his neighbor told him to hurry and get the flock out.

...when suddenly one of them goes running off.  The shepherd goes looking for it and after the entire day of frolicking, the sheep comes up to the shepherd and says "I'm ready to go back with the sheep now".  And so the shepherd takes her back to the sheep.

The next day the same thing happens... read more

One day the chief summons him. The chief is angry, and brings out a white baby.

"My wife just had a white baby. You are the only white man in the village. What have you done??"

The missionary thinks, then brings the chief outside, to a field. He points to a flock of sheep.

"This... read more

I hope this doesn't go against any sub rules. I'm ok if it gets deleted.

So, I had an idea pop into my head last night, and I need some help in fleshing out the body of the joke.

It would go something like this:

A man and his son are walking near (body of water) on Christmas Day... read more

He spends his days teaching the way of the lord. After several years, a village woman gives birth to a white baby. The Chief is not happy with this. When he confronts the priest, the priest tries to explain these things happen in nature. With the chief not understanding, the priest tries to explain ... read more

A farmer asks his Border Collie if he wants to hear a joke.

The dog replies yes.

The farmer says: There's a flock of sheep...

The Dog says: Herd it...

A blonde, tired of people assuming she's stupid, goes to a salon and has her hair dyed brown. On her way home she sees a shepherd and his flock of sheep. She stops and asks, "if I guess how many sheep you have, can I have one?" The shepherd agrees and the blonde guesses, "237." He does some quick fi... read more

A dumb blond was tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette.

When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.

After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought,
“Oh! Those she... read more

So sick of hearing blonde jokes, a blonde cut her long hair and dyed it brown.

The next day she drove out into the countryside where she came upon a flock of sheep crossing the road. Stopping her car to watch the fluffy flock, she called out to the shepherd, "Your sheep are so cute. If I gues... read more

There was a typical blonde. She had long, blonde hair, blue eyes, and she was sick of all the blonde jokes.

One day, she decided to get a makeover, so she cut and dyed her hair. She also went out and bought a new convertible. She went driving down a country road and came across a herd of shee... read more

They manage to set up camp and survive. The man searches the island every day, but never finds any other people.

One day, as the man and his dog are walking, they find a small flock of sheep grazing.

Looking at the sheep, the man gets an idea.

Now, he isn't the kind of guy wh... read more

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson was taking the train one day when they passed a huge flock of sheep in a field. As quickly as they had observed the fluffy cloud it had passed out of view.

"So many sheep!" Watson exclaimed. "I wonder how many there were?"

"Elementary, Dear Watson. There ... read more

A cowboy shows up the morning of his first cattle drive. He notices a small flock of sheep with the cattle but thinks nothing of it. After a few weeks on the trail, he was watching the herd one night when he notices a drover go to the flock of sheep, pick one out, and take it over a hill. He brought... read more

A young man grew fed up with modern life and decided to leave the big city and become a shepherd, spending months in the seclusion of the distant mountains alone with his thoughts and sheep. So he went up the high mountains where he found three older shepherds with a big flock of sheep, and asked th... read more

An international aid worker was volunteering at a small remote village in Africa. He was the only outsider the villagers have ever seen. But after awhile, they welcomed him into their homes.

The village chief had a beautiful daughter that had caught the eye of this worker. Everyday she would... read more