UPJOKE

Fixed Up Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three cowboys (nsfw)

Three cowboys are sitting around a fire boasting about how tough they are.

The cowboy from Oklahoma says, "I was driving cattle last year, and was bit on the ass by a rattler. Finished the cattle drive. Took three days before I got the doc to look at me. Didn't shed a tear."

The cowbo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A pregnant woman walks into a bank

and lines up at the first available teller. Just at that moment the bank gets robbed and she is shot three times in the stomach. She was rushed to the hospital where she was fixed up. As she leaves she asks the doctor about her baby.

The doctor says, "Oh! You're going to have triplets. They'r...

Fast thinking old man

The old farmer had a large pond in the back, fixed up nicely with picnic tables, a barbecue pit, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.

One evening, the old guy decided to go down to the pond and look it over...

A man walks into a bar and orders a rum and Coke...

The bartender says to the man "sorry, but is Pepsi okay?"

The man, having had a long day at work and needing a drink decided not to be picky

"Sure, why not" he said, then paid for his drink

The bartender fixed up the drink and handed it over

"Here you go," he said, "Pepsi...

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