An American woman goes to Italy on business and asks her husband what she could bring back for him.
He laughs and says, “An Italian girl!”
When she returns home he picks her up at the airport and asks, “So, honey, how was the trip?”
“Very good,” she replies.
“And did you ...
After five months on the job, a new employee believes he deserves a huge raise and decides to ask his boss.
“And how much of a raise do you want?” asks his boss.
“I’m thinking an extra $10,000 a year,” says the employee.
The boss nods. “Sounds about right. And what would you say to a package of ten weeks vacation, 20 paid holidays, and a company car leased every two years, say, a silver Cadi...
“I’ve been taking night courses for five months now, and I have an exam next week.” Said my neighbor Mike.
Mike: “For example, do you know who Euclid is?”
Me: “No.”
Mike: “He is the father of geometry. If you take night courses you would know this.”
The next day the same discussion took place:
Mike: “Do you know who Alexander Dumas is?”
Me: “No.”
Mike: “He is the...
An Irishman walks into a bar, and orders three pints, all at once.
He does this for several days, drinking one, and then the next one, and then the last one. After a week or two, the bartender says "You know, I can bring you your drinks one at a time, so they stay fresh and cold" "No, no" the Irishman says to the bartender "I have two brothers. One...
There is nothing wrong with drinking while pregnant...
...my wife drank through all five months of her pregnancy.
I once had an abusive girlfriend.
Her name was Lorraine. Whenever she didn’t agree with something I said or did, she would strike me all over the body, but punching me in the eye was most common. That left me with black eyes almost constantly. I had enough. I broke up with her after five months of abuse. I can see clearly now, Lorra...
A man gets his test results back from his doctor
Doctor: I’m afraid it’s bad news, as we initially feared I regret to tell you that it’s terminal.
Man: Oh no, how long do I have left to live?
Doctor: Five.
Man: Five what!? Five years? Five months!? Five weeks!?
Doctor: Four.
Me: How long have we had that mattress?
Wife: No idea
Memory foam mattress: Two years, five months and two days
Exercise can add years to your life.
This enables you, at 95 years, to spend an additional five months in a nursing home at $7,000 a month.
The invitation
a man named Bob suffered from severe paranoia, it only got worse ever since the city he lived in got its first covid case.
Bob spent hours each day sanitizing his clothes and scrubbing himself to protect him from the virus.
One day Bob got a call from a very close friend of his. He w...
Family Therapy
The guys comes home very happy, goes to his parents and announces:
\- 'Mom, dad I finally found the girl I want to marry'
Mom: - 'That's a great news, who is she?'
\- 'She is the girl from the next block. They live on the fourth floor. You know her'
Mom: "Yes, she's a pe...
Parker seeks the help of International Rescue for something out of the ordinary...
"You have to help me, Mr. Tracy. It's Lady Penelope. She has gone crazy! "
"Gone crazy, Parker? What do you mean by that?"
"It's her drinking....She cannot restrain herself. Every evening for five months she's been in the bar, drinking heavily, disturbing everybody and being utterly un...
10 most funniest jokes ever.
So far have we gone, stressing up ourselves today. Let me remind you something, ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY. What this popular saying meant is that we shouldn't spend all our time on work. At least, making out 20 percent of your total time should be enough fun.
Today, I have m...
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