UPJOKE

Two men and a woman are stranded on an island after a plane crash...

... Resourceful, they waste no time, build a house, find food and water, and globally have it good. After one month, the woman goes to the two men and says:


"Okay guys, let's be frank. I have my needs, you have your needs, let's do it. We'll take turns, one day it's you", she says to th...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A daddy dog was taking his puppy for a walk in the neighborhood.

As they came upon an empty tin can he said to his son: "While we are taking our stroll I will teach you three lessons, this is the first one, so watch carefully." And he went to the tin can and licked it clean on the inside.

They went on, on the other side of the road there came a lady dog, l...

Something's Not Kosher Here

Back in the cowboy days, a westbound wagon train was lost and low on food. No other humans had been seen for days. And then they saw an old Rabbi sitting beneath a tree.

The leader rushed to him and said, "We're lost and running out of food. Is there someplace ahead where we can get food?"...

Two vampire bats move into a new home under a bridge.

On the first evening they are there, they see the sun setting. One of the bats says to the other, "I'm hungry, let's go eat." The other responds, "We should wait for the other bats in the cave to leave and see where they find food." The first bat impatiently decides to go off and find food himself. ...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

I speak for the trees!

So an ant is walking through a field, scavenging for food. Suddenly, his legs stiffen up and he has trouble walking. "Feet! He says, angrily. "Why have you failed me? I must search for food, but I am unable to walk." "Not us!" Squeal the feet. "We only are only meant for gripping the ground or ...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A bunch of men are trapped on a cannibal island...

In order to survive, the cannibals tell them to find food for the tribe and come back.
The first guy comes back with an apple. The cannibals tell him to shove it up his ass without laughing, and he will be free.
He fails, is killed, and goes to heaven.
The second guy comes back with two blu...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A cruise ship sinks in the middle of the ocean

Only 2 men and a woman survive the terrible tragedy, and relying on any floating debris, paddle their way to an island they spot nearby.

They make shelters, find food and water and all the basics needed to survive on an island in the middle of the ocean. After 3 months, they finally decide no...

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