UPJOKE

Fat Woman Jokes

How do you seduce a fat woman?

Piece of cake.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I saw a fat woman standing at the bus stop.

I asked her when is it due?, she then went into a right rage and said I am not pregnant you ignorant Bastard. I said I was on about the bus you fat cow.

What do you call a 350 lb fat woman with short arms?

Someone who can't wipe.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I fucked a fat woman in an elevator once

It was wrong on so many levels

What did Mr. T say when he saw a fat woman sitting at the bar?

"I pity the stool."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was about to have sex with a really fat woman.

After climbing on top of her, he asked 'Can I turn the light off?' 'Is it because you're shy?' she said.
'No', he said.


'It's because it's burning my arse'

A fat woman was standing on the weighing scale while holding her stomach in.

“Um, I don’t think that’s going to help” said the husband.



To which the wife replies in a confused manner,
“Sure it does. How else I could see the numbers?”

A fat woman is talking to her doctor...

Woman: The problem is obesity runs in my family.

Doctor: No the problem is that no one runs in your family.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A fat woman and her husband are sitting in church.

The congregation stands to say a prayer and as the woman is getting up the back of her dress gets stuck between her ass cheeks. A guy in the row behind her reaches over and gently pulls the fabric out of her ass crack. She spins around, glares at him and whispers angrily "I don't like that!"
...

A very Fat woman comes into a store and tells the clerk,

'i would like to see a bikini that fits me'

Clerk...'me too'

What happened when the fat woman backed into the airplane propeller?

Disaster.

An Amish man and his son are at a mall.

They're taken aback as they look around. The son points to an elevator and asks his father, "What is that?" The man says, "I don't know, son, but let's watch." An old, fat woman gets on and the metal doors slide shut. A few moments later the doors slide open and a gorgeous young blonde gets off....

what do you call a fat woman who has 28 men in bed with her each night?

yo mama

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you know semen makes women lose weight?

It's true! I just ejaculated on a fat woman at the park and she started running!

An Amish family visits a mall...

...the mother strolls along an aisle and experience modern life. The dad and the son, however, encounters an elevator.
"What is that, father?", the son asked.
"I don't know either, my son", replied the father, "Let's see what they use it for".
They then see an ugly, fat woman trudge into th...

Italian restaurant.

I went to my local Italian restaurant last night, but there was a large fat woman standing at the entrance.

I couldn't get pasta.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A very poor man has very low self confidence...

because of his eye. He lost it years ago, and he can not afford to buy a glass eye. All he can afford is an eye made of wood. One day, his friend decides to try to help him up his self confidence by telling him about a party. The man is reluctant, but his friend insists. At the party, the man is sta...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(Nsfw) The lone ranger and Tonto are travelling when they are captured by a band of outlaws

They bury the Lone ranger up to his neck in the dirt. The outlaws ask the lone ranger if he has any last requests before they leave him to die.


"Yes I do, tonto come here a moment"


Tonto comes over and the lone ranger whispers something in his ear. Suddenly tonto makes a run f...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Young men of reddit, do you plan on getting married someday? I tell you, marriage is a lot of work, but it's worth it. You will do things you never though yourself capable of...

For instance, someday, you'll fuck a fat woman.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A medical Doctor is teaching, and everyone is around a corpse, ready for their first lesson.

"Welcome, class. OK, since this is your first lesson, I have to tell you: The 2 most important things to be a good doctor are: *Dedication* and *Observation*."

Doctor then proceeds to unveil the corpse, a big, fat woman who got shot in the head.

"This is *Dedication*". The doctor proc...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dave starts a new job as Bus Driver

Dave was starting a new job as a bus driver. He arrived at the bus depot and they told him he would be driving a bus with a "Sesame Street" advertisement on the side. He found this kind of amusing, and started his shift.

At the first stop, he picked up his first passenger. It was a fat woman....

An Irish guy shows up to work one Monday with a black eye

\----before I proceed with the joke, I'm not gonna type out an Irish accent cause it'll suck if I try lol. So anyway----



His mate asks him what happened and the guy says, "It's like this - I went to church yesterday and we were all kneeling for prayer. There was a big fat woman in fro...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Boy comes home from church with two black eyes...

Momma asks what happened.

He says, "well, this fat woman was in front of me and her dress was stuck up her butt, so I reached up and pulled it out for her. She turned around and hit me."

"...okay? So where'd you get the second one?"

"I though that's how she wanted it so I put ...

So, a friend of mine claims to be really body-positive, but...

...I saw him comment on a picture of a fat woman in Wal-Mart comparing her to a pachyderm. I told him to stop being so hippo-critical.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.