UPJOKE

Fat Cow Jokes

Fat Cow

Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

My daughter came home from school yesterday and told us this joke: What do you get from a fat cow?

Homework.

A guy gets on an airplane and finds himself sitting next to a talking duck.

A gorgeous young stewardess comes by and asks the guy and the duck if they would like anything to drink.

"I would like a cup of coffee, please," says the guy.

"And I'd like a can of beer, you ugly pig!" shouts the duck.

The stewardess goes and gets a can of beer for the duck. Bu...

Little Johnny called mother in law a fat cow

Little Johnny called mother in law a fat cow during the dinner and got slapped upside the head by his father right away. But not hard. As was agreed

What’s the difference between a fat cow and your mother?

People will actually eat the cow.

What is the medical term for a fat cow?

Morbidly o-beef

The fat cow

Teacher: Okay children, what does the chicken give you?
Children: "EGGS!!!!"
Teacher: Very good. What about the pig? What does the pig give you?
Children: "BACONS!!!!!"
Teacher: Oh wow, im impressed. What about the fat cow? What does the fat cow give you?
Children: "HOMEWORKS!!!!!"

Where do you find 100 fat cows?

At bingo

Cow Jokes

What do you call a cow with only two legs? Lean Beef.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.

Two cows are grazing in the field. One cow says to the other, "Hey Dorris, you worried about this Mad-Cow Disease epidemic?" The other cow turns and says, "Why would I be? I'm a chic...

A husband walks into his wife and her friends sitting on the couch eating snacks

"bunch of fat cows" muttered the husband

"what was that" shouted his wife

"you herd" replied the husband

Teacher asks..

Teacher: what does the bee gives you?

Students: honeybee

Teacher: what does the tree gives you?

Students: shadow and fruits

Teacher: what does the fat cow gives you?

Students: homework

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two guys chatting in a pub......

First guy says, "I committed an embarrassing faux pas this morning. Stopped at the travel agent and the girl had fantastic breasts.I accidentally asked for two Titties to Toronto"

The other guy responds "I know the feeling mate. This morning I meant to ask my wife to pass the cornflakes and a...

A first grade teacher was trying to teach her students about animals

She said "What does the fat Cow give us?"
Her students shouted out "Milk!" Unanimously.
She then said "Well done! Now, what does the fluffy chicken give us?"
Her students responded with "Eggs!"
She then said "Good work! Now for the last question. What does the big pig give...

A hostess asks his guest: "How many cookies would you like?"

"Just one will be enough, thank you."
"Oh, come on, you don't have to be polite."
"All right, then give me a cookie you fat cow!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

DAAAAAMN I have a hot wife at home

And that fat cow gets real bitchy when the air conditioner breaks

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I saw a fat woman standing at the bus stop.

I asked her when is it due?, she then went into a right rage and said I am not pregnant you ignorant Bastard. I said I was on about the bus you fat cow.

At the school petting zoo, the animals all give different things.

The sheep’s give wool to make blankets,

The pigs give therapy for the disabled kids,

And the fat cow gives out homework.

The girlfriend announced...

"I love you lots, snuggles."

"And I love you tons." I replied.

"Oh, I see." She said, in a huff. "You've got no nickname for me, then?"

Sometimes I swear the fat cow's going deaf.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Texan a bitch and a heifer

A Texan comes to California to visit his friend's ranch. He overhears two workers talking, standing next to a cow and a dog. The first worker looks at the cow and absentmindedly says "yup, she's one fat cow." The next man is looking at the dog and says "well, I've got one mean bitch" The Texan look...

The boy was upset when he came home from school...

“Mom I was sent home from school.”
“Why is that?” ask the concerned mom.
“First the teacher asked what you get from sheep. I said wool. Then she asked what you get from a pig. I said bacon. Then she asked what you get from a fat cow. I said homework.”

My wife likes to tell me she is worshipped in india...

She's a fat cow.

My wife and visiting mother-in-law got mad at me when my son looked at the turkey and said....

"Dad. Where's the fat cow you said we would be serving for dinner?".

Man goes to a petrol station.

It's night time and one of those serving hatches. Talks to the girl. Can I have a can of coke and a Kit kat Chunky?

Off the girl goes to get his stuff. "There you go," she says, "One can of coke and a KitKat Chunky."

"No," says the man, "I wanted a normal Kitkat, you fat cow."

Supposedly this joke was rated the funniest joke in a survey of British people...

Patient: Doctor, last night, I made Freudian slip. I was sitting at the dinner table next to my mother-in-law. I turned to her and I meant to say,"Please pass the salt", but instead I said "You fat cow, you've ruined my life".

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