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Farmers Wife Jokes

Farmers wife

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.


"I real...

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What did the cow say to the farmers wife when it was feeding time?

*Moo bitch, get out the hay*

A young man buys a brand-new bike

He is over the moon with his purchase. The salesman hands him a tiny jar of Vaseline before driving off, remarking: 'Be wary that your seat is made of 100% pure bison leather. Make sure to put vaseline on the seat, should it rain, otherwise the leather might crack.' The man thanks the salesman and r...

Farmer ike and his churl chester are working the fields

Farmer ike and his churl chester are working the fields when it starts raining. the farmer sais: chester, go to the house and fetch me my wellys, for its starting to rain!

chester heads to the house, and when he enters through the kittchen he sees the farmers wife and daughter perpearing the ...

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A Farmer and his wife...

A farmer and his wife were sitting on the front porch enjoying the cool summer evening, when a flying saucer lands in the front yard, a door drops down, an Martian man and woman step off the spacecraft and introduce themselves to the country couple, after a long evening of enjoyable conversation the...

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Is this OC? I thought of it in the shower. Help with making it better would be appreciated.

A farmer is eating dinner with his lovely daughter. The local merchants son, known for being honest and trustworthy, walks in and says "sir I'd like to lay with your daughter." The farmer in a rage asks "Why the hell would I let you do that?" To which the merchants son reply's "I was just diagnos...

Farmer had a champion bull, it bred 200 times a year.

Farmers wife said, “200 times isn’t that wonderful dear,
“Maybe you oughta watch him, maybe he’ll show you how”.
Farmer said, “He’s a heck of a bull, but it wasn’t all with the same cow”

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A UFO crashes on a farm

A loud noise is heard outside of a remote farm house and startles a middle-aged farmer and his wife. The farmer walks out to see a UFO. He walks up to the UFO and find out the aliens are peaceful, completely naked and have fairly human bodies. The farmer attempts to communicate with them and the ali...

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Stormy night

This bloke was driving down a country lane at night in the pouring rain when his car brakes down. He can see nothing around except a little farmhouse. He walks up to the door and knocks. A little farmer answers the door and asks if he can help. "My car has broken down and I need to use a phone. Can ...

Did you know some bikers keep a little jar of vaseline in their pocket to protect their bike seat from the rain?

A biker was doing a big ride through a low dense inhabitated country. After a long drive not seeing a single person his bike breaks down. He starts pushing it and after a few hours of pushing it he stumbles across a single farmhouse in the distance.
He knocks on the door and the farmer opens. "W...

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On a cold and rainy night

On a cold and rainy night during the era when traveling salesmen still pedaled goods door to door, Gary , a young English wallpaper representative breaks down on an Irish county road .Luckily ,there is a farm house not far from the road .As he is an englishman in Ireland , he cautiously makes his wa...

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