Who would have thought that one day we'd be smoking weed at a family gathering....
.....but the illegal part would be the gathering.
A Family Gathering
At a family gathering, a young boy suddenly lets out a noisy fart.
"Bobby, manners please, you shouldn't do that in front of your grandma."
"Sorry, Dad, I didn't know it was her turn."
A zookeeper lost a pair of mongoose to a storm and needed to replace them. He began writing an email to his supplier...
“Dear sir, please send me two mongooses at once.”
That didn’t sound right, so he tried again.
“Dear sir, please send me two mongeese at once.”
That still didn’t sound right, so he gave it one last attempt:
“Dear sir, please send me one mongoose. And while you’re at it...
I'm proud to be a Asian descent, with my family name Chao. When we have family gatherings…
It's completely Chaos!
After getting punched for making a racist comment at our last family gathering, my uncle won't be attending the next one because
black eyes matter.
We are making our own xmas crackers for the family gathering this year. Got any good jokes we can put in them?
Jokes as in "why did the chicken cross the road" not as in "live wasps".
Whilst drunk at a family gathering, my uncle told the entire family this joke...
A man was waiting for news of his child's birth. the doctor comes out and goes: "We have good news and bad news, which one would you like first?" The man goes "I'll take the bad first" Then the doctor tells him the bad news "Your baby has down-syndrome, we're so sorry" The man replies "So...
My 93 year old grandfather FTW
We were at a family gathering and out of nowhere my 93 year old grandfather announces ''Well, now I have to sit down now when I pee..."
All conversation grinds to a halt and everyone looks at him.
"My doctor told me no more heavy lifting."
What do they call an orgy in Alabama?
A family gathering.
Birth rates in Alabama have declined due to COVID19...
... restrictions prohibiting family gatherings.
So my great uncle louie…
So my great uncle louie worked his whole life in the iron mines outside of Pittsburgh.
The work is hard, but It's harder to meet women in that industry. Except the day he found a beautiful rock at work and started bringing it around town and to family gatherings.
My great uncle Louie w...
My wife has a peculiar cooking habit
So, my wife and I are newly weds, and she's a great cook, but I noticed she did something strange when preparing sausages. Just before she puts them in the skillet, she cuts off about an inch on both sides of the sausages.
After having witnessed this a couple of times, I asked her why she di...
A man and his wife just had an argument, and are very angry with each other.
The man is driving his wife to a family gathering when they suddenly see a herd of pigs crossing the road in front of them. Seizing the chance, the husband cheerily asks:
- "Hey, look! Are they some relatives of yours?
And his wife quickly replies,
- "Yeah, my parents-in-law!"
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A loose tongued child.
A child was being rather risque at a family gathering, using undesirable language, when an old aunt comes up and makes an excuse for his poor choice of words. "You shouldnt be saying things like that, what are you like?" To which the child replies, "A castle, because I've got FUCKING TURRETS...
Quick thinking
Stan was a farmer in Florida. When he retired, he spent some time cleaning up one of the ponds on his farm. He brought in some picnic tables, put in a horseshoes court, and planted some fruit trees. It was a lovely spot for family gatherings and what have you and Stan took great care of it. One...
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