This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A woman is out golfing when she hits her golf ball into the woods. When she goes to retrieve it, she finds a talking frog trapped beneath a fallen tree...

"Please!" the frog cries, "Help me! If you can just lift up this tree even just a little bit, I will be free! And I'll grant you three wishes!"

The woman quickly agrees, and throws her weight into the tree. She can't lift it much, as it's quite heavy, but she does manage to move it just barel...

What kind of music does a fallen tree branch dance to?

Log-rhythm

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A Hunting Story

One night, at the lodge of a hunting club, two new members were being introduced to other members and shown around. The man leading them around said, "See that old man asleep in the chair by the fireplace? He is our oldest member and can tell you some hunting stories you'll never forget." They awake...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A man walks into a hardware store...

you know the type, the independent store that barely survives and sells EVERYTHING, but rarely has a customer, how they are still trading is a miracle. Anyway, the man approaches the counter and asks the shopkeeper "I need a budgie file".

"A budgie file?" The shopkeeper muses out-loud, "not h...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

The Hunting accident

While out on a hunting expedition, a man is climbing over a fallen tree when his shotgun goes off, hitting him straight in the groin. Rushed to hospital , he awakes from the anaesthetic to find the surgeon has done a marvellous job repairing his damaged member. As he dresses to go home, the surgeon ...

When all the animals left the ark, Noah gave them instructions as they departed:

To the Aardvarks, he commanded, "Go forth and multiply!"

A couple snakes came slithering out, and he commanded, "Go forth and multiply!"

"We can't, we're adders." replied the snakes.

Well Noah kept giving commands, until at last he told the zebras, "Go forth and multiply!" ...

A man and his wife were riding to town on a horse driven carriage....(old one i heard from my grandpa)

they come upon a snake in the road. The horse refuses to move any further so the man gets down, throws the snake in the woods and gets the horse moving "that's one" he says. They continue down the path until they come upon a fallen tree, and the horse won't go around. So the man pushes and pushes on...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

BONGO!

Three guys in the jungle get captured by a native tribe.

The chief announces to them (Yeah, they all speak English) that they will be killed, unless they submit to BONGO, in which case, they will be set free.

The first of them agrees to BONGO, and is promptly taken to the centre of the...

A mathematician, an engineer, and a statistician are hunting deer...

Hiding behind a fallen tree, they see a buck at the other end of the field. The mathematician takes out his rifle, aims, and fires. The bullet misses twenty feet to the left.

The engineer takes out her rifle, aims, adjusts for the wind, and fires. The bullet misses twenty feet to the right. ...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

An old farmer and his wife are riding along...

An old farmer and his wife are riding along a dirt road in a horse drawn carriage. The road is rather weathered and beaten down, making the long journey an unpleasant ride.

The horse stumbles on a hole in the road and violently jerks the carriage. The old man pulls on the reigns and brings t...

My grandfather passed away early this morning. To commemerate him, here is a favorite joke of his

A man and woman were on their honeymoon after a quick courtship. They met, fell, and love, and were quickly married. On their honeymoon, they decide to go for a horse ride through the beautiful mountain passes of Europe. As the horses were crossing a small stream, the wifes's horse mis-steps and jo...

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