Music is much more enjoyable if you listen with your eyes shut.

It is also more enjoyable if the people sitting near you would listen with their mouths shut

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Busted axle

The doc told a guy that masturbating before sex often helped men last longer during the act.

The man decided, "What the hell, I'll try it," He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it before he got home to his wife. He couldn't do it in his office. He thought about the restroo...

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In 1935, a Nazi Landesinspekteur (State Inspector) needs to privately converse with Hitler.

When he finds Hitler's office, he knocks loudly. There's no response.

After waiting 20 seconds, he gets very impatient, opens the door, and just walks right in. To his surprise, he sees Hitler on the floor, apparently meditating deeply with his eyes shut, legs crossed, and arms hanging loosel...

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So Satan asks God to let him back into Heaven...

God says "Satan, you've betrayed me before, but I am a just and forgiving god. You may get back into Heaven, if you can beat my only son in a programming contest."

Satan and Jesus meet to agree to the terms. The contest is a simple one. God will set a timer for six hours, and both Jesus and S...

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Robin Hucking

I once knew a guy named Robin. Robin Hucking. Yes, Robin. He hated his name. Everyone called him Hucking, or Huck.



Great guy. Best friend I ever had. Right up to the day he died.



Hucking did have one problem. He was a high rise construction worker with a bad case of acr...

A man travelling across Europe catches a nasty cold

While resting at a hotel in Madrid, a man realizes hes sick and needs to go to the hospital. He quickly walks to the hotel's check-in desk and asks where the nearest hospital is, as he didnt really know what to call or where to go.

The hotel clerk says to the man: "No worries, sir. We shall ...

Meditation

[A bit dry : p]

One day, as he did everyday an old yogi was meditating in a cave.

A hungry traveller passing by noticed him in the cave sitting by a fire.

The traveler hoping for a bite to eat shouts into the echoing cave "Hello there!!"

The yogi being very disciplined, k...

Two rabbis are at temple...

Two rabbis of great scholarly distinction are spending a quiet morning at Temple, enjoying peaceful contemplation in the near-empty building. Suddenly overwhelmed with spiritual exaltation, the first rabbi stands, and with his hands spread wide exclaimed, "Lord, I am nothing!", and with a deep brea...

My first time...

He was much older than me, and very experienced it seemed.
I was afraid.
“Lie down”, he said, “and open up”.
I did what he said, even though I didn’t want to.
Then he put it in.
“Please, no!” I wanted to say, but couldn’t, cause suddenly he had his whole hand in my mouth.
It ...

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Who wants to be Body Boss???

When man was first created, various body parts applied for the job of Boss.

The legs were first – “Since we take man wherever he needs to go, we should be boss.”
Then the brain chimed in – “Because I do all of man’s thinking and decision making, I should be boss.
Next were the eyes – “W...

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