UPJOKE

Why did the scarecrow win employee of the month?

He was outstanding in his field

Employee of the month

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the sex worker who got Employee of the Month?

She did a really good fucking job.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes home to his wife, after being fired from his job at a chips factory..

The wife acts surprised, because the man has been employee of the month for 13 months in a row.
She asks "What happened?"
"I got fired for putting my penis in the potato cutter. It's been a dream of mine, and I couldn't resist it anymore", the man replied.
The wife, even more surprised afte...

I just received “Employee of the Month” at my furniture construction company.

But some people call me counter productive.

How did the scare crow get employee of the month?

He was out standing in his field.

After years at my job, I finally managed to walk away with the “Employee of the Month” award.

Unfortunately security caught me at the door.

One of the best things about being self employed

I name myself employee of the month every month.

So there's this cheerio who works at Burger King...

And he's a fantastic employee. He constantly washes tables and takes orders without complaints.

Every month, the Burger King Corporation throws a cheerio employee of the month party. It's always been Honey Nut's dream to go, but Fruity always gets to go. Every. Damn. Month. But not this mont...

The Trophy Maker (OC - long)

Old Rick Giuseppe was a fifth-generation trophy maker – like his father, grandfather, great grandfather and great great great grandfather before him. Alas, Old Rick Giuseppe’s wife had died a few years ago, and the man lived in solitude, apart from a cat named Jeffery, who was his late wife’s belove...

Signs you drink too much coffee

- You answer the door before people knock.

- Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.

- You ski uphill.

- You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.

- You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.

- You lick your coffeepot clean.

- You're the employee of ...

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