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Embarassed Jokes

A woman tries getting on a bus, but realizes her skirt is too tight

As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly embarassed and with a quick smile to the driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this wou...

My mom embarassed me me today when one of my black friends came over..she just kept saying "Is he a drug dealer? He looks like a drug dealer"

I said "No mom that's racist...and put your money away"

,, Don't feel embarassed Sir, erection is common during a prostate exam"

,, But doctor, I don't have an erection! "

,, I know, but I do"

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What else could he say??

A young couple decided to take their 5 year old son to see the circus. After several amazing acts, the ringmaster led six bull elephants into the center ring, linked trunk to tail in the usual manner.

"What's that big thing hanging off the elephant, Mommy?" Little Johnny asked.

"That...

I hate when my daughter tells that she feels embarassed when I show up in her workplace and check on her

But this is the only strip club in the town ..

José was embarassed of his weight.

No weigh José

When the magician failed at his trick, he could feel everyone's eyes on him. He never felt so embarassed.

He just wanted to disappear.

a guy picking up his kids at school sees another kid and says loudly "god, what an ugly kid!"

The person standing next to him says "he's my son..."

The guy, pretty embarassed, replies "oh man, I'm sorry, I didn't know you were his father"

"I'm his mom..."

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Two men are sitting next to each other on an airplane...

One man is visibly flustered. The other man leans over and asks, "Hey, is there something wrong?"


The other man replies, "Well, I'm a bit embarassed. When I was purchasing my ticket this morning, the ticket girl had the most wonderful pair of breasts. I was distracted and instead of askin...

Interviewer: How do you explain this 4 year gap on your resume?

Me: Oh, that's when I went to Yale. Bit embarrassed about that.

Interviewer: Damn, embarassed about Yale? You're definitely hired!

Me: Thanks! I REALLY needed this yob.

A cop pulls over three elderly woman..

The cop says "M'am, do you realize you were going 15 mph in a 55?"

Old lady driver: " Ooo I must have been mistaken then, that sign over there says 15"

The cop laughs and says "M'am thats route 15; you're on route 15 right now"

Old lady driver: "I am so embarassed! Please forgiv...

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Italian journalist takes a trip to Gennargentu's mountain

An italian journalist flies over to Sardinia to make a documentary on the Gennargentu mountain. He gets to a little town and finds an old man sitting by his house. The two of them talk a little, our journalist finds out the old man was a sardinian sheperd when he was younger so both of them agree on...

A guy approaches a girl at the library....

He asked her, "Can I sit next to you please?"

The girl replied in a loud voice, "I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!!"

All the students in the library was staring at the boy and slowly moved to a corner with his head low in embarassment.

The girl then comes up to the boy a...

New Prostate Exam Joke

A man goes to the doctor for his first prostate exam. While the Doctor is performing the exam, he says to the patient, " Don't be embarassed, its common for men to get an erection during this part of the exam".

The patient answers "I don't have an erection"

The Doctor replies "I know,...

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Wedding night revelations

A very religious couple, who have saved themselves until marriage, rush to their hotel room after the wedding ceremonies.

Before they go in, the bride, embarassed, says:

*-My darling, I have a confession to make... I've been wearing padded bras this whole time, my boobs are so very sma...

The Boy who Speaks in Coffee

There was once an Italian boy who was born to a pair of baristas. Unfortunately, he was born with a mental defect which meant that his vocabulary would be formed very early, and would be highly associative. As his parents worked around the clock to support their new son, his vocabulary quickly becam...

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Bar Experiment

One night a guy and some of his friends went to a bar. The guy saw a very sexy woman all by herself. His friends told him to go talk to her. What's the worst that could happen? As he approached the woman he said, "Hi my name is Jeff" with a big smile. Out of nowhere, the woman yelled out, "NO I WON'...

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Doctor Visit

A girl goes off to college and decided to visit the gynecologist for the first time for her check up.After the exam, the Dr. explained to her that he knew that she had been sexually active,

I'm a professional and it is my job to know these kind of things so don't be embarassed".

"If yo...

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A man with 3 balls

A man with 3 balls visits a doctor to talk about his situation. But when the time comes, he is embarassed to talk about it. So he says, "Hey doctor. Between the 2 of us, there are five testicles in the room." Hearing this the doctor faints out of shock.
When he comes to his senses the man asked ...

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A couple of Old Ladys are sitting outside of their retirement home, smoking cigarettes

when it suddenly starts to rain, just a light drizzle, nothing too heavy.

The first old lady pulls out her little umbrella and awkwardly holds it up abover her as she puffs away on her cigarette.

The second old lady pulls out a condom, tears a hole at the tip with her teeth and procee...

An american, a french, an arab and a swiss are on a fly...

Suddenly, the pilot says "we're too heavy, all the passenger have to drop something".

The american take billions of dollars and he says : "We got enough of this, i can drop freely"

Then the french drop cheese and says : ""We got enough of this"

The arab drop gallon of oil and sa...

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A Sheikh's son goes to Germany to study...

A Sheikh's son goes to Germany to study and a month later, he sends a letter to his dad saying: *"Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here, but I'm a bit embarassed to arrive to school with my gold plated Mercedes when all my teachers travel by train."*

Sometime later he...

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While examining me, my dentist asked me if i had recently performed oral sex

Embarassed, i asked if i had a pube in my teeth.

He said no..there's shit on your nose

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Two brothers, a 6-year-old and a 5-year-old, decide that today is the day they will learn how to swear..

The 6-year-old says, "I'm gonna say the word 'damn,' " and the 5-year-old replies with glee, "I'll say the word 'ass,' " and they giggle and wait for their opportunity. Mother calls for them to come down for breakfast. They run downstairs, into the kitchen, and jump on the stools.

"What woul...

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A virgin strongwoman found herself with a man.

Having never learned the specifics of intercorse, she was a bit nervous when he dropped his pants to the floor and asked her to tug on it. She was embarassed of her inexperience and didn’t want to let on that she was a virgin.
Finally she figured that; could she lift a truck tire above her head s...

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A Female Journalist Ventures Into A Village

A female journalist ventures into a village in a faraway land, away from all modern civilization, to write a story about the people that lives there.

When she gets into the village, the villagers give her a warm welcome, tell her that she can talks to anyone and photographs anything that she ...

A Buddhist monk turns to the Dalai Lama for an answer.

A Buddhist monk was pondering what is the difference between a woman and a pearl, but couldn't figure it out. He gave up and decided to ask the Dalai Lama.

"Hmm, interensting question, young grasshopper - said the Dalai Lama. I do not know, but if you give me three days to meditate on this, ...

Moses and Jesus are standing on the bank of the Red Sea in their retirement

Jesus turns to Moses and says, "Hey Moses, remember when you parted the Red Sea? That must've been amazing to see! So upset I missed it. Do you think you'd be able to do it again?"

Moses blushed, "for you?! Of course!" So he stands up and hobbles over to the water and hit his staff on the gro...

Three soldiers are in a hot air balloon

Three soldiers are in a hot air balloon, riding over a town with a mountain in the distance. As the mountain approaches, the sudden realization hits that they will not clear mountain.

In a last-ditch effort, they try to throw out everything they can. The first soldier throws out their weapon...

The Legend of the Man Who Went on Vacation to New Orleans

It can be assumed that the man had gone to many, many bars that night. By the time he had entered his fifth bar, he was definitely drunk.

The man decided that it was about time to use the bathroom, so he approached the bartender and asked the bartender politely, "Exchuze me... whre kn-I take...

There was this musician in North Korea....

One day he was called upon by Kim Jong Un to compose a piece of music and have the Great North Korean Orchestra play it live to him in the Humble Auditorium.

The musician, not wanting to displease the Great Leader, did as he asked and got to work composing a piece of music. One week later, on...

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