UPJOKE

Eating A Lot Jokes

Could eating a lot of spaghetti make me a better dad?

I suppose it's pastable.

I've been eating a lot of eggs lately..

I must be on an egg roll.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Henry, you are 97 years old…

- Henry, you are 97 years old, what’s your secret?
- well I sucked a penis once for 20 dollars
- uh… I mean what’s your secret to long life?
- Eating a lot of vegetables and fruits

Ash Wednesday was yesterday so my family is going to be eating a lot more legumes

Mostly lentils

The other day I saw a boy eating a lot of chocolate on a bus.

The other day I saw a boy eating a lot of chocolate on a bus. I told him:"Stop! Eating too much chocolate is bad for your health and makes you fat!" He looked up and said:"My grandpa has lived for 95 years and he is still well and healthy, you know." "Do you mean that this is because he eat a lot of...

An old man was sitting next to a kid

And he saw the kid eating a lot of chocolate, pack after pack...

So the man asked the kid: do you think it's healthy for you eating all that chocolate?

So the kid answered: My grandpa died at 100 years old

-And you think it's because he ate chocolate?

-No, it's because h...

A chef went to a dentist

He'd recently had a new plate implanted and felt some pain in the area.

Upon examination, the dentist stated "the acrylic is starting to deteriorate. Tell me, have you been eating a lot of Hollandaise sauce?"

"Yes," said the chef "it's a favorite. Is that bad?"

"Well," explain...

Our daughter wants us to set a place at our Thanksgiving dinner table, for her teddy bear, Theodore. She promises he won't eat very much.

She said he has been eating a lot lately, and is already stuffed

Two old acquaintances run into each other and strike up a conversation.

One says, "You look great! I swear you're younger now than when we first met. What's your secret?"

The other says, "Well, thanks. I know it sounds crazy, but I've been eating a lot of Italian bread lately."

"Italian bread?"

"I know. But it just gives me lots of energy, and I'm a...

A circus owner and a pehlwan

This was originally told to me in Urdu and I am not sure how well it will translate into English. Here goes:

There was a [pehlwan](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pehlwani) who was well known for eating a lot. So a circus owner got wind of him and approached him. He said 'I will get you lots of ...

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