UPJOKE

Easter Joke Jokes

An Easter joke.

A priest was arguing with a rabbi.

"What is great in our religion", says the priest, "is that there is room for advancement. A humble village priest can become a bishop, an archbishop, a cardinal, who knows?, maybe even the Pope!"

The rabbi answers: "What about the Almighty? Can he bec...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A dirty Easter Joke,,,

A rooster wakes up early Easter Sunday morning. He sticks his head out of the chicken coop, and sees all these multicolored eggs all over the barnyard. He takes a look at the eggs, takes a look at the hens, ta...

My favorite Easter Joke

St Peter meets three new potential Heaven Members and says, “Ok, tonight we’re going to have a quiz. Just a simple question: What is Easter?”

The first guy says, “oh, that’s easy. It’s when the family gets together and have turkey and mashed potatoes and…”

“No, no. That’s Thanksgiving!...

Late Lent/Easter Joke

Eino, a Finn from Cook County in northern Minnesota, was an older, single gentleman who was born and raised a Lutheran. Each Friday night after work, he would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak.

Now, all of Eino’s neighbors were Catholic…..and since it was Lent, they were forb...

[Easter Joke] Q: What kind of exercise did Jesus do to get such good abs?

A: Crossfit

Easter Joke

So three brothers die together, on Easter Sunday. All three then arrive at the pearly gates and meet Saint Peter.

"Well, none of you have been that good. But none of you have been that bad either," Saint Peter says, looking over the story and deeds of their lives. "I'll tell you what. Seeing...

My favorite Easter joke

Three blondes die in a car crash and find themselves at the Pearly Gates talking to St. Peter. "Before I let you into Heaven you have to answer one question. What is Easter?"
"Oh" says the first blonde. "That's that time in the fall when you go door to door collecting candy." "No" says Peter...

Great Easter joke I heard today

**Wife:** "What are your plans for Easter?"

**Husband**: "Same as Jesus."

**Wife**: "What do you mean?"

**Husband**: "I will disappear on Friday and and reappear on Monday."

**Wife**: "AWESOME, if you do that I'll do the same as Mary."

**Husband**: "What do you m...

An Easter Joke (a bit late)

So after Christ rose from the dead he was on a stroll with some of his disciples. One of them said, "Say Jesus, do you mind showing us how you walked on water?"

Jesus said, "Well, these were miracles, not exactly parlor tricks. But you know what, I don't mind."

^^^^Another ^^^^discipl...

The best Easter joke I heard

Three blondes died in a car crash trying to jump the Grand Canyon and are at the pearly gates of heaven. St Peter tells them that they can enter the gates only if they can answer one simple religious question.
The question posed by St. Peter is "What is Easter"?
The first blonde replies,...

Easter Joke

A Buddhist, Hindu, and atheist die and go to heaven. St. Peter greets them and says, "Well I have good news and bad news. The bad news is you backed the wrong horse. Christianity is the true faith, but the good news is you can still get into heaven if you can correctly answer a question."

He...

Easter Joke

Do you think Jesus hates nail salons?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My mom's favorite Easter joke: Why does the Easter bunny hide Easter eggs?

Because he doesn't want anyone to know he's fucking a chicken.

Good Friday / Easter Joke

So it’s after the resurrection and boy is Jesus in the mood for some partying. He gets the disciples together and heads for the club!

They hit the dance floor, but something is wrong - Jesus just can’t seem to get in groove with the music. He tries and tries, but finally yells out. . .
...

Because Christmas is coming, here's an Easter joke:

Jesus, Moses and St. Peter decided to go on a picnic. After some discussion, they agreed to have their picnic on a secluded island so no one could bother them.

As the three of them were eating their picnic lunch, St. Peter notices that the boat they had arrived in had drifted out to sea.
...

Rumour has it...

Rumour has it that Jesus got so hammered on Good Friday that he didn’t wake up for 3 days.

(Easter Joke... Nailed it.)

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