E Magazine Jokes

On their anniversary night, the husband sat his wife sat down in the den with her favorite magazine, turned on the soft reading lamp, slipped off her shoes, patted and propped her feet and announced that he was preparing dinner all by himself.

"How romantic!" she thought.

Two-and-a-hal... read more

He’s decided that he would leave a specimen behind in case anyone would want to use it.

The receptionist gave him a jar, pointed to another room and informed him that there were magazines in the room, in case he needed the extra encouragement.

After a few mins of quiet, the reception... read more

“There’s an article that tells women where to meet men,” Johnny responded, pointing to the magazine’s cover. “I need to know where I’m supposed to be.”

Like many young men his age, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it.

One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects:

1. A Bi... read more

In a conference, USA repesentatives complained that the Vietnamese were so uncivilized, they often pee illegally in public and in plain sight. The Vietnam side denied and say that wasn’t true. The US responsed that tonight, they will carry m4, patrol around Ho Guom lake and execute all those who pee... read more

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to the local grocery store. Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the follow... read more

He unholsters the weapon and waves it in the air, shouting, "I have a 45 caliber Colt 1911 with 7 rounds in the magazine and one in the chamber, and I want to know who's been sleeping with my wife!"

A voice from the back shouts, "you're gonna need more ammo!"

He said that he was the time magazine's person of the year in 2006.

Life magazine sends one if its reporters to the Appalachian Mountains to gather life stories of the locals. On the first day, the reporter climbs up a mountain and there he encounters an old man sitting in a rocking chair on the front porch of his log cabin.

"Good morning, sir. I'm a reporte... read more

When she stumbles upon an S&M magazine underneath his pillow. She freaks out because young Jimmy is only 8 years old. She runs to her room where she meets her husband.

"Bill, look what I found underneath Jimmy's pillow! He's only 8, what should we do??!"

The husband eyes the mag... read more

Over the speaker the captain addresses the passengers saying, "Folks, it seems one of our four engines is having difficulties. We are going to have to shut it down. There is nothing to worry about, this will just add an hour to our flight. Thank you for your patience."

The blonde looks out th... read more

Three guys are arrested in an adult book store and appear before the judge. He asks the first guy to stand:
"What is your name?" he asked.
"George," the guy answered.
"And why were you arrested?" the judge asked.
"I was by the magazine rack holding a big fat cigar and blowing smoke,"... read more

A while ago, there was this man living in Devonshire called Paul. He lived in the rural areas and LOVED tractors. Big ones, small ones, long ones, short ones, red ones, green ones, grey ones, you name it. He was also a member of the Tractor Society, which would put out a magazine every month.
... read more

Two girlfriends meet each other on the street.


A: How is your married life?

B: For the last couple of weeks my husband has been helping me a lot around the house: watching kids, cooking, groceries, cleaning, doing laundry…


A: How did you convince him to do that?
<... read more

I was at a "place of religion or race" the other day going through some magazines...

... I was perfectly happy till my rifle jammed.