UPJOKE

Drunken Irish Jokes

Two plus sized woman walk into a bar

At the bar sits a drunken Irish man. As the two women approach, the Irish man sees them and exclaims: "Ah, two fine lassies from Ireland!"
Defiantly, one responds "It's Wales!"
The man corrects himself, "Ah, two fine whales from Ireland!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

GEORGE and me MADDY

(Best told in my best drunken Irish accent) Old couple driving home.

George: Madeline, me Maddy, for 50 years we’ve driven this old country road.

M: Aye George we have, the same fences to our right lit by the pale moonlight.

G: Do you remember sometimes we’d pull the car off to ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Irish man at the bar

One day an American takes a trip to a small town in Ireland to get away from the big city. As his first order of business he decides that he just has to visit a bar to get the real experience of this great country. He then places his order for a drink at the counter when a drunken Irish man named Ba...

On the way back from the pub

A drunken Irishman is driving through the city of Dublin on

St. Patty's Day and his car is weaving violently all over

the road. An Irish cop pulls him over.



"So," says the cop to the driver, "where have you been?"



"I've been to the pub," slurs the drunk....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the most useless thing on a woman?

A drunken Irishmen at 3am.

[EDIT]: This isn't meant to be sexist, it is self-defamation.

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