UPJOKE

Drunk Girl Jokes

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Two drunk girls stop to pee in a cemetery

Two drunk girls stopped to pee in a cemetery after a long night out drinking and partying.

The first girl squats down by the car and starts to pee. She then realizes she doesn't have anything to wipe with, so she takes her panties off and wipes herself, and throws them away.

The secon...

What do a marine biologist and a drunk girl have in common?

They’re both worried about the seal!

3 drunk girls get inside a taxi

They give the driver the address. The driver knowing that they're drunk, turns the car on and off.

He turns around and says that they've arrived to their destination. The first girl pays him and gets out of the car. The second one gives him a tip and says thank you while exiting.

The t...

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I was at a party...

I was walking around when I realized I had left my watch on the bed in the master bedroom. I worked my way through the crowd of people and opened the bedroom door. There on the bed was a guy who was sexually assaulting a drunk girl. I walked right up to him and punched him square in the face. No...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's okay to be that guy.

Remember guys, next time you're at a bar or club trying to pick up a girl, there's really only one type of guy to be. That guy is a real panty-dropper, takes shit from everyone, but remains unmoved, gets more ass than anyone else in the room, and
is the first thing a drunk girl wants to see. Ne...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three Drunk Girls

A blonde and two brunettes had gone out drinking Friday night and really tied one on. They all got back together for lunch on Sunday, and the two brunettes were shocked at how awful and sad the blonde looked. "I can't ever go drinking again", the blonde moaned. "That was the worst, most humiliating ...

Drunks

Drunk guy: "Here's hoping you're in Heaven ten minutes before
the devil knows you're dead!"

Drunk girl: "What's that mean?"

Drunk guy: "It's an Irish toast."

Drunk girl: "Oh. Well, here's to bread, eggs and cinnamon."

Drunk guy: "Huh?"

Drunk girl: "That's

All the good stuff is gone

A bartender was closing the bar down for the night when he hears a knock on the back door. He opens the door to a homeless man and asks "How can I help you?" The homeless man asks the bartender if he can have a toothpick. The bartender looks perplexed and says sure. So he gives him a toothpick. The...

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