UPJOKE

Drug Problem Jokes

When I was younger I struggled with a serious drug problem

These days I have a much more reliable dealer.

I have a drug problem.

I can't find any.

What do you call a duck with a drug problem?

A quack head

My mom was asking me if I had a drug problem.

I told her, 'yeah, I can't find any'.

There's a worsening drug problem where I live.

The drugs are getting worse.

Reddit please help me, I've got a major drug problem :(

I can't get any, anywhere!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Concerned about the rising drug problems on Earth

Jesus decides to send some of his disciples back to Earth to obtain some drugs so that they would better understand how to help mankind.

After 3 days they begin to return.

There is a soft knock on the side door at Jesus' pad. "Open up, man, it's Matthew."
The door opens just a cra...

Did you hear about the duck with a drug problem?

He was addicted to quack cocaine

(I honestly wish I could take credit for this)

Did you hear about the large yellow dog with a drug problem?

Turns out he was a Meth Lab

What do you call a Scottish Muslim with a drug problem?

Amaff Maheed.

(Said in a Scottish Accent)

I bought three sniffer dogs, to try and solve the drug problem in my area.

Thankfully, they managed to find me some.

If you're looking for a needle in a haystack...

...you should probably be more concerned about confronting your horse concerning his drug problem.

What do you call a spider with a cocaine addiction...

An acracknid

Jesus called a meeting of the disciples in Heaven...

...When they all arrive he mentions that there is a massive drug problem on Earth and they need to find a way to rid the world of it. He suggests that they all go down to Earth, all over, and bring back samples of different drugs so they can examine them and figure out the best way to rid the world...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Miracle Machine

A guy is talking to a work buddy in the bar. The guy says, "man my wrist is killing me! I want to go to a doctor but im scared that the bill will be too high." The buddy says, "well you are in luck man! i heard from my wife that a new pharmacy just opened up and they have a machine that with just a ...

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