UPJOKE

Drinking Wine Jokes

A Macaroni, a Penne and a Spaghetti were drinking wine in a bar one evening. They saw a noodle sitting by himself and discussed inviting him to join them.

They all agreed he looked Cannelloni.

EDIT; Thank you for all the awards, I guess I pasta test!

If you had a choice between drinking wine or being skinny what would you choose?

Red or white?



My grandma laughed a lot when she read this on Facebook so I’m not even sure if it’s that funny but whatever eh?

What did the ISIS member yell at his wife when he caught her drinking wine?

Zinfandel!!!

Roommates Sarah and Beth invite Mary over for drinks

Roommates Sarah and Beth invite their friend Mary over for drinks. They are drinking wine and having a great time, when Mary spills her drink on her shirt. Mary asks Beth if she could borrow one of her tops. Beth laughs and says “you’d never fit in one of my shirts, you’re the size of a dinosaur!Try...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My brother sat down with my girlfriend and I. He said, "Pal, I've got a confession to make. Last night I had sex with your girlfriend. We went to a party, she was drinking beer, I was drinking wine. One thing led to another..."

I turned to my girlfriend, in shock. "Tell me he's lying."

She said, "He is, it wasn't beer it was cider."

Happy old man

```An 80-year-old man went to the doctor for a general check-up.```

The doctor was surprised to see his happy demeanour.
Asked--

'What is the secret of your good health ....?'

'I get up before the sun rises and go out for cycling and then come back and drink two glasses of ...

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I Forget the Name

Two elderly men are conversing and drinking wine while their wives prepare dinner in the kitchen. As the discussion begins to dwindle, Tom and Norman decide to delve into their limited pop culture knowledge.

"Well now, Tom," says Norman, "me and Carolyn tuned into one of those nightly talk s...

a senior doing useful things with her time

Yesterday my daughter e-mailed me again asking why I didn’t do something useful with my time……….

Like sitting around the pool and drinking wine is not a good thing.

Talking about my “doing something useful” seems to be her favourite topic of conversation.

She was “only thinking ...

How to sustain a long marriage

Have two romatic dinners every week.

You can do a lot of things on a romatic dinner, like drinking wine, dancing, watching TV etc.

My wife goes on Monday and Wednesday, I go on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two couples in their 50’s...

Hang out every Saturday night; having dinner, playing cards and drinking wine. One night they decide to change things up and book a trip to Mexico.

While in Mexico the two husbands, drunk on tequila, decide to REALLY change things up and swap wives for the night. One says to the other “but w...

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