UPJOKE

Drink Milk Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Man who could only Drink Milk

I know an old man who had lived a life full of adventure, but his health started to catch up with him. He'd run the Boston Marathon, was an avid surfer, and climbed Everest, but he'd started to have abdominal pains around his 85th birthday and went to see a doctor. Sadly, he ultimately was diagnosed...

Why couldn’t the bigot with no feet drink milk?

Because they lack toes n tolerance

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do neo-nazis drink milk?

Because they hate juice

Why a man doesn't drink milk

A man was out in his garden one day, an activity he enjoys daily. He likes growing different plants like flowers and vegetables, and he's gotten very good at it. He recently learned that ants can aerate and help water travel through the soil, so he had recently placed a few colonies of ants througho...

Sometimes I just drink milk straight from the container

It tastes better and the cow seems to enjoy it

Why do people who drink milk struggle to walk?

Because they lactose.

I have started drinking my wife's breast milk.

Why drink milk from some other cow when you have one at home.

Did you hear about the bread-less klansman who couldn't drink milk?

He lacked toast and tolerance.

My friend told me he can’t drink milk. I asked him if he is lactose intolerant. He said he is actually allergic to the milk protein.

I said “No whey!”

What do you call a dwarf with a birth defect, is broke and can't drink milk?

Lack toes and tall or rent

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a guy that can't drink milk and a bunch of Nazi soup kitchens that ran out of bread?

The guy's lactose intolerant. The others lack toast and tolerance.

...god damn, that was painful. I'll show myself out.

*edit* for slightly better delivery

God is talking to one of His angels.

He asks, "Gabriel, what are the humans doing down there?"

The angel replies, "It seems that they are drinking milk, Lord."

"What sort of milk?" asks God. "I gave them many animals to drink milk from; the cows, the goats..."

"Um...almonds, Lord."

What did the baby say to the mama?

“I don’t always drink milk, but when I do, I prefer Dos Tetas.”

Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill were two farmers on the Eastern edge of Tennessee. They had recently been told that meat was un-christian like, so they decided to grow almonds and use the money from it to replace the money they'd get from selling meats.

Eventually, they realized they can't drink milk, so they...

Fun Facts about ants

So as you may or may not know, ants have many breeds, but above these breeds, two general groups can be seen in ants around the world. These groups are the Macro ants (Big ants), and the Micro ants (Small ants).

Multiple different breeds of ants can be found in each of the two groups (Such ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I pissed off my buddy Juan today

And it was to the point to where he was going to kick my ass unless I did something embarrassing or gross. His suggestion was to drink milk straight from the cow he had out back. It was then I realized I had to choose between Juan or the udder.

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