UPJOKE

Don't You Hate It When Jokes

Don't you hate it when you're driving along smoking a cigarette, you flick it out the window and you drive for a couple more miles and smell something funny and you look over onto the back seat and sure enough..

Grandma's fingering herself again

Don't you hate it when you get an Amber Alert

and you have to switch cars?

Don't you hate it when... [NSFW]

...you could have actually viewed that Reddit post at work?

Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions?

I do.

Don't you hate it when you need to pay to use the bathroom?

I'll take my business elsewhere.

Don't you hate it when you can't tell if a text response is angry or enthusiastic?

YES!!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Don't you hate it when your girlfriend yells out a different name during sex

Like bitch, my name isn't "someone help"

Don't you hate it when...

You check under the bed for the boogeyman but said boogeyman came out on the other side and start touching your bum.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Don't you hate it when...

The inferior sex accuses you of being misogynistic?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Don't you hate it when you're typing something

and you're thinking about something else so then you subconsciously type what you were tits.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Don't you hate it when

you punch up the fuckline?

Don't you hate it when you read the first part of the joke

Don't you hate it when you read the first part of the joke twice?

Don't you hate it when a teacher lies and says the homework will be a piece of cake?

It always tastes like paper.

Don't you hate it when you're reading a joke,

And there's no punchline.

Don't you hate it when you can't find a really great joke you saw a few weeks ago that you really liked?

It makes it really hard to repost.

Don't you hate it when you're trying to have a nap and there's an alarm blaring in the background?

I just had to smash my carbon monoxide alarm to bits, it was giving me a bloody headache.

Don't you hate it when you meet a hot girl who says she's "bi"...

...then the next morning you realize she meant "polar".

Don't you hate it when people refers to themselves in 3rd person? Or when people give themselves nicknames?

Well, sorry but.. Daddy does both.

Don't you hate it when your girlfriend asks you to go deeper

and you ran out of poems?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Don't you hate it when people attach little steering wheels to their penises?

It drives me nuts.

A man walks into a bar for illiterate people. The bartender says, "Don't you hate it when people tell jokes that have specific details about situations that would never happen in real life, just so they can make some dumb pun?" The man, nodding, replies,

"I no write."

Two guys were sitting in a bar, when one guy said to the other:

Two guys were sitting in a bar, when one guy said to the other: "Don't you hate it when they repeat the title in the post?"

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