Two female police dog handlers are walking their dogs
One says to the other, "I left my panties at the police station." The other says, "Let the dog have a whiff of your cunt and he'll go and fetch them."
Fifteen minutes later, the dog returns with her panties, her baton, a broomhandle and two of the inspector's fingers.
I heard a funny noise in my shed, so I called the police.
“Hello”, I said, “I think someone is in my shed stealing stuff".
“Do you have anything valuable in the shed”, the dispatcher asked.
“Well, just my tools, the kid's bike and the lawn mower.” I said.
“Sorry”, she said, “we’ve got no one available at the moment. Someone will be ...
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