UPJOKE

Dog Bar Jokes

A Man Walks Into a Bar with His Little Dog...

He puts the dog on the bar and says to the bartender, "25 bucks says this dog can talk!"

Bartender says, "I'll take that bet. Make it quick."

Man looks at the dog and points upward. "What's the name of this thing over our head keeps the rain out?"

Dog barks, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy walks into a bar with his dog.

He says, "Hey, bartender, check this out. My dog can talk!"

The bartender says, "I don't believe that for a second."

"I'm serious. Ask him any question, and he'll give you an answer."

Just to humor the guy, the bartender goes, "Okay, dog. What do you call the top of a house?"...

Dog Bar Mitzvah

A man walks into a synagogue with his dog. He goes up to the Rabbi and he says.

Man: Rabbi, I want my dog to have a Bar Mitzvah and I want to do it here

Rabbi: What are you, crazy? We can't do that!

Man: Please, I'll do anything

Rabbi: No, it can't be done

Man: Rab...

A guy walks into a bar with his dog

A guy walks into a bar with his dog. The bartender says “you can’t have a dog in here!” The guy says, “this is a really smart dog. If I prove that to you, can we stay?” And the bartender says sure.

So the guy turns to the dog and says “What goes on top of a house?”

And the dog barks “...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A bum walks into a bar with his dog...

He says to the bartender, “Hey fella, if my dog can talk, will you give me a free drink?”

Bartender looks at him suspiciously but says, “yeah, sure, why not.”

So the guy looks at the dog and says, “ok boy, what is on top of a house?!”

The dog barks out, “Roof! Roof!”

Then...

A man and his dog walk into a bar

The man tells the bartender, "I bet you $100 that this is a talking dog."

The bartender says, "Ok, if it is a talking dog, I will give you $100. But if it isn't, then you give me $100 and I'll throw you and the dog out that window."

The man looks to the dog and says, "Ok, boy: what is ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is sitting in a bar bragging about his dog...

He says his dog can do basic maths and that if anyone asks a basic question and his dog cant answer it, he'll buy them a beer.
So one man says ''What's 1+3?'' and the dog barks 4 times.
Another man asks ''What's 5-2?'' and so the dog barks 3 times.
A large man in a torn and foul-smelling ja...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man and his dog walk in to the bar

The man tells the bartender he’s celebrating getting his dog back from his ex because his dog can talk.

“Oh, yea? If that dog can talk all your drinks are on the house,” the bartender says.

“Deal. Hey boy, whats sandpaper feel like?”

The dog barks, ruff! ruff!

“Hey boy, w...

A man brings his talking dog into the bar...

The bartender quickly tells him that no dogs are allowed.

The man says, "But sir, this is a talking dog. If i can prove that he can talk, will you let him stay?"

The bartender reluctantly agrees.

The man looks at his dog and says, "what's on top of your dog house?"

The ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.