UPJOKE

Doctors Orders Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Doctors Orders

Doctor told me earlier today I had to stop wanking. "Why" I asked. "Because I'm trying to examine you". He replied.

Guy goes into a pub.

He orders 7 pints of beer, he drinks the first pint, the third pint, the 5th and the 7th pint and gets up to leave. The barman says why are you not drinking the other three pints.? He says, doctors orders, what do you mean by that asks the barman.? I am on medication and my doctor said to me the odd...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was having some stomach pains, so he went to see his doctor...

The doctor looked him over and declared, "Sir, you have a tapeworm. Please come back in three days, and bring...a BANANA."


The man is confused, but he trusts the doctor so he returns in three days with a banana. The doctor tells the man to take off his pants and bend over, whereupon the d...

My Mom's favorite joke

There was a woman named Betty Lou, whose life had recently fallen into a downward spiral of horrible luck. She had been laid off after working for the same company for several years. She began binge eating to cope, and as a result become terribly overweight. This made it more difficult for her to ac...

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