UPJOKE

Doctors Appointment Jokes

An older man is at a routine doctors appointment

Everything checks out, and he appears to be in good health.

At the end of the appointment, the doctor asks him if “he had any questions?”

The old man replies “no, I’m okay, but I am concerned about my wife; I don’t think her hearing is what it used to be.”

“That happens with ag...

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A lady comes home from her doctors appointment grinning from ear to ear

Her husband asks, “Why are you so happy?” The wife says, “The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old.” “Oh yeah?” quipped her husband, “What did he say about your forty-five year old ass?” She said, “Your name never came up in the conversation....

Why did Snoop Dogg bring worms to his doctors appointment ?

Because he was told that he was going see some fizzishin.

Patient: I need a doctors appointment please. Receptionist: Ok, how about 10 tomorrow?

Patient: No, I don’t need that many.

A 70 year old man named George goes in for a doctors appointment.

All of his physical tests yield normal result, so the doctor asks George if he is feeling well mentally, which George replies he is. He is then asked if he has a good relationship with his god. George explains that when he gets up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, the light automatical...

Hi, I would like to book a doctors appointment please....

Receptionist: Sure thing, How about 11 tomorrow?

Man: No thanks, just one will be fine.

“Hey Grandma, how was your doctors appointment?”

“I think the doctor was flirting with me. He told me I have acute angina!”

Me scheduling a a doctors appointment

Me: Hello i would like to schedule an appointment

Receptionits: Yeah just give me a second... How about 10 tommorrow

Me: No thanks, that's way too many

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An 80 year old man arrives at his doctors appointment

He sits down and the doctor proceeds to do his normal routine.

*Doctor:* So how are things going lately?

*Man:* Pretty good. I got married to a 20 year old last week.

The doctor is taken a little bit back by that statement, but continues being professional.

*Doctor:* That...

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Today I had a doctors appointment for premature ejaculation

It was at 4, when I got there, it was only 3. I guess I accidentally came early.

I walked into my doctors appointment and he said pick a star sign. I said Capricorn

He said no you’ve got Cancer

Why do Old People have so many Doctors appointments?

So they don't get bored in retirement.

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So, I had a doctors appointment yesterday.

I was sitting in the exam room in the paper gown when in walks the most gorgeous doctor I've ever seen. She picked up my chart and looked over it for a few minutes. Finally, she looked up and said, "Mr. Cow, you're going to have to stop masturbating." I said, "Why?!" She said, "Because I'm trying t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Man gets excited at his doctors appointment...

The doctor askes why he's excited

The man says he just got diagnosed with daily sex

The doctor said no... It says dyslexia

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