UPJOKE

Do You Like Jokes

Do you like parodies?

Pair a deez nutz

Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?"

The other says, "I'm a big metal fan"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you like them apples?

A guy sits down at the bar, and asks for a Rum & Coke

The bartender plops an apple in front of him.

"But I wanted a drink"

The bartender says "Just try it."

The guy bites into the apple, and says "Wow, this tastes just like rum!"

"Turn it around," says the bart...

My woman asked me “which one do you like best, my beautiful face or my gorgeous body?

To which I replied: “your self-confidence”

Do you like eggs?

I have them in the morning with my toast.
Sometimes sunny side up, sometimes scrambled, sometimes over easy.
I think they're eggsellent.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Do you like sex and travel?

fuck off

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Well grandma," I said, "this is where you will be staying eventually, do you like it? "

She shouted, "Will you fuck off and let me visit your granddad's grave in peace!"

Hey baby, do you like Thanksgiving?

Because I want to pump-kin into that pie.

Tom: Hey, do you like fruits?

James: Not really.

Tom: And salad?

James: Not much.

Tom: Then you’re not gonna like what I did.

James: What? You made fruit salad?

Tom: Nah, I made out with your wife.

Do you like Malcolm in the Middle?

▢ Yes

▢ No

▢ Maybe

▢ I don't know, can you repeat the question?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man texts his ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend - "Hey, how do you like this USED pussy?"

And gets a reply - "Thanks for asking! It feels brand new after first 2 inches".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I flopped my cock out in front of a girl last night and said, "Do you like my new piercing?"

After staring at my penis for 30 seconds she said, "Where's the piercing then?"

I said, "In my ear."

Do you like pop music, like Imagine Dragons?

Well imagine dragon these nuts across your chin.

- In a scale 1 to 10, how much do you like to argue?

\- Would it be possible to make the scale from 1 to 20?

\- No

\- Why not?!

How do you like your steak, sir?

Customer: Like winning an argument with my wife
Waiter: Rare it is

German: Do you like umlauts

me: No

German : Ö

Cardinal: Your holiness, do you like fried chicken?

Pope:yes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Do You Like Pussycats?

Sarah, a recently widowed Jewish lady, was sitting on a beach towel at Cocoa Beach, Florida.


She looked up and noticed that a man her age had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand nearby and began reading a book.


Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with h...

Do you like rollercoasters?

Cause I'm an emotional one.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Do you like birds?

Because you look like you could take a Cockatoo!!!

One friend asks another "do you like threesome?"

\- "Of course!"

\- "Then hurry back home. Maybe you'll get on time."

Hey girl, do you like trucks?

Cause I got a semi.

Do you like jokes about the American Civil War?

No, I General Lee don’t find them funny

Hey girl, do you like water?

Then you're gonna love like 70% of me

Do you like hollandaise sauce?

Do you like hollandaise sauce? I love it. It put it on fish and chicken and vegetables. It's great.

But there is a lot of lemon juice in it, and I think it is causing some pitting on my dentures.

I went to my dentist. He said the pitting probably was from the hollandaise sauce and that...

Do you like sales?

Because in my house, clothes are 100% off.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Friend: "Do you like the taste of butterscotch?"

Me: "Neither"

Do you like M&Ms?

Yeh, I like the candy and the wrapper

Once a salesperson asked me, " Do you like dark coloured furniture, Can I show you some? "

I said: oaky

Me: Do you like broccoli?

"No."
"Do you like curry?"
"No."
"Then you won't like what I did?"
"Did you cook broccoli or curry for me?"
"No, I banged your sister."

Interviewer: "Do you like rock 'n' roll"

Sisyphus: "Not even a bit."

Do you like my scar?

I made it from scratch.

Wife: Honey, how do you like my new haircut? Husband: Can I be honest? Wife: Sure. …

Husband: I slept with your sister.

Girl: What do you like to do in your free time?

Guy: I spy on people.

Girl: Really? I like to take long walks in the park and go to the movies with my friends.

Guy: I know.

Best pickup line: How do you like your eggs in the morning...

Fertilized?

Do you like math jokes? 2 plus 2 equals 7

Don't worry I only have 3 more

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do you like me?

„Why do you like me?“

„You are the exact opposite of me.“

„Why would you like that?“

„Cause that means you‘re good in bed.“

It’s Black Friday... do you like sales?

Because of you’re looking for a good one, clothing is 100% off at my place.

Do you like the smell of moth balls?

You do? How do you get their little legs apart?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A wife asked, "what do you like about me the most, my pretty face or my sexy body?"

The husband replied, "I like your sense of humor!"

Wife: Do you like Tekken?

Me: I love Tekken!

Wife: Good, because I'm Tekken the kids too.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Do you like tapes and CDs?

Cuz I'm gonna tape my dick to your forehead, so you can see deez nuts.

Do you like white rice? Or brown rice? Or yellow rice?

I love all rice equally. You're just Ricest.

Hey Girl, do you like Little Ceasars?

Because I'm hot and ready for you.

How do you like my six-pack?

It was only $4.99 in the ab-store.

I'll do you like I do my homework...

For two minutes.

Do you like my Russian leader puns?

Ivan practicing.

And if you need to borrow money I'll Lenin to you.

Do you like stars?

On Trivago you find Hotels with 5.


^^^^^^I'm ^^^^^^Sorry.

Do you like whales?

Cause I thought we could "Humpback" at my place.

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