UPJOKE

Do You Know Why I Pulled You Over Jokes

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Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?

Me: Because of the-

Car driving by: HONK

Me: Because if the-

2nd car driving by: HONK

Me:

Cop:

Me: Because of the-

3rd car driving by:HOOONK

Me: Because of the “Honk if you think cops have micropenises’’ bumper sticker?

Cop: do you know why i pulled you over?

Me: because the police force is a fascist institution designed to protect the wealthy

Cop: there's a man in your trunk

Me: yea a 𝙧𝙞𝙘𝙝 man

A cop pulled me over and asked "Do you know why I pulled you over?'

I Said "if you already forgot, I'm not gonna tell you"

Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?

Me: I like beer. I've always liked beer. What do you drink?

Officer: Get out of the car, please.

"Son, do you know why I pulled you over?"

- Cop with Alzheimer's trying to play it cool.

An officer asked me "Do you know why I pulled you over?"

So I replied, "What, have you already forgotten?"

Looking back it probably wasn't a good answer

Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over to talk to you?

Me: Because it would be too windy if you didn’t?

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A lawyer gets pulled over by a police officer.

The officer asks the lawyer "Do you know why I pulled you over?"


"I haven't the foggiest idea," said the lawyer.


The officer replied, "You didn't make a full stop at the stop sign back there. You only slowed down."


The lawyer thinks for a few seconds then says, "If y...

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A man gets pulled over by the police...

The officer asks, "Do you know why I pulled you over?"

"No I don't officer," he replies

"You were speeding. That's going to be big ticket in this area."

"Well, you caught me, and while I'm at it, I might as well be honest with you. I have a dead body in the trunk along with some...

A Driver gets Pulled Over

A man driving home from the bar gets pulled over by a police officer.

Officer: "Do you know why I pulled you over?"

Driver: "I'm guessing you think I was drunk driving."

Officer: "Tell you what, my shift is ending so if you can spell the alphabet backwards, I'll let you go."
...

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A husband got a new job

A husband got a new job and had to go on his first ever business trip.

This was especially tough because he and his wife made love every other day and he was going to be gone for a week.

He didn’t want his wife to miss him, or miss out on her regular orgasm, so he decided to buy her a ...

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An Officer is on patrol in L.A.

When he sees a driver fail to stop at a Stop sign.
He chases after the guy and pulls him over.

Officer: "Sir. Do you know why I pulled you over?"
Driver: "No."
Officer: "You failed to stop at the Stop sign back there."
Driver: "I slowed down, what's the big difference...

A Policeman pulled over an older lady,

He walked up to her window and asked "Ma'am, do you know why I pulled you over?"

The woman said, "I just don't know, Officer, was it to invite me to your Police Ball?"

The Officer said, "Ma'am, the Police don't have balls...." He paused for a minute, closed his ticket book and said "Ha...

A man and his wife are speeding down the highway when they get stopped by a police officer

"Do you know why I pulled you over?" The officer asks
"Not really" the man answers
"Don't worry, sir, you're not in trouble, I actually pulled you over because I find the way you drive your car really impressive, you're a skilled driver, I bet you aced your driving exam and really earned that ...

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I Got Pull Over Today (real conversation with cop)

So….today I got pulled over about 15 feet from the front of my building on my way to work for rolling a stop as I was putting my seatbelt on. I just left it unbuckled so he didn’t think I was trying to pull one over on him.

Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?

Me: Because I’m an...

An elderly lady & her husband get pulled over by the cops for speeding near Lexington, Kentucky

Officer: “ma’am do you know why I pulled you over?”

Lady to her husband: “WHAT’D HE SAY??”

Man: “HE ASKED IF YOU KNOW WHY HE PULLED YOU OVER!!”

Lady to the cop: “OH. No!”

Officer: “well ma’am you were going well over the speed limit.”

Lady to her husband: “WHAT’D ...

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Everyone needs a reliable DD

A man pulls out of the parking lot of a busy Bar at closing time, he begins to swerve and drive eratic. The officer that was parked across the street turned his lights on and pulls him over.. At this time more cars began to leave and everyone who passed honked and waved. The officer paid it no atte...

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so a man is pulled over

The cop walks up to the window and says sir, do you know why I pulled you over? The man says no and the cop says I clocked you doing 77 in a 65. May I see you license, registration and proof of insurance. The man says he not only has none of those but the car is stolen. The couple he stole it from ...

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Mike got pulled over

Mike gets pulled over at about 11pm on his way home from dinner at his mother, the police office comes over and Mike rolls down the window

PO: do you know why I pulled you over?

Mike: no officer, why did you pull me over?

PO: I think you're drunk!

Mike: I assure you offic...

What does a cop with Alzheimers always say at routines traffic stops,

“Do you know why I pulled you over???”

A police officer pulls a man over

"Licence and registration!" - the police officer says.

"Certainly, officer!", replies the civilian.

"Do you know why I pulled you over?", asks the officer.

The civilian replies: "I assume you are collecting donations for the policemans' ball."

"Sir, the police doesn't hav...

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A man gets pulled over...

A man gets pulled over and the police officer approaches the driver's window. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" The driver says, "No sir." The cop says "Well son, you were speeding. Now please hand me your license and registration." The driver pulls out his license and says, "Well my registration...

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An officer pulls over an elderly gentleman who's driving three ladies down the highway.

"Do you know why I pulled you over, sir?" asks the officer.

"No sir, I haven't the faintest idea!" replies the old gent.

"Well, you were going 75 miles per hour in a 55 mph zone," states the officer.

"But dad gum, the sign done said it was 75!" says the old gent, cocking an e...

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A man drives up to a stop sign and rolls through it.

Shortly after a cop pulls him over. The cop asks, “Do you know why I pulled you over?” The man says, “No”. The cop says, “ You ran a stop sign back there”. The man says, “OK, but I slowed down though”. The cop then asks, “Could you please step out of the vehicle, Sir?” The man gets out of his...

A man and his wife are driving home one night...

when a cop pulls them over. As they're sitting there waiting, the man realizes he doesn't have his seat belt on and nonchalantly puts it on before the cop walks up.

"Do you know why I pulled you over" the cop asks.
"No officer" the man replies.
"You were driving without a seat belt."...

A man was pulled over on the side of the road for speeding.

The officer said, "Sir do you know why I pulled you over"

"No idea sir" the man replied.

"Well I've got you clocked here doing 78 mph, I'll need to see your license and registration"

Handing over his papers the man replies "Officer I had no idea I saw a sign that said 78 I thoug...

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A man gets pulled over for swerving

Officer says, "sir do you know why I pulled you over?"

*"I have no clue". The man replied.*

"Have you been drinking, sir?"

*"Not any alcoholic drinks, officer".*

"Then what is that in your cup holder?"

"*that's a half-drank Smirnoff Ice.*"

"I thought you sai...

What not to say to a cop

If you get pulled over and the cop says "Do you know why i pulled you over?" it is not wise to say "because you were bored and wanted someone to talk to."

I got pulled over by a cop this morning

He came to my window and said "Do you know why I pulled you over?"

I said, "No officer - I thought for sure you'd know."

LPT - Don't do this.

A Highway Patrol Officer pulled over a little old lady for going 10mph on the highway.

As he walked up to old lady’s car he noticed there were 3 other elderly folks looking very frightened and rigid.

He leaned down to the old lady’s window and noticed she was as calm as could be.

“Do you know why I pulled you over, ma’am?”

“No I do not,” she replied sweetly. ...

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While she was 'flying' down the road yesterday, a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait...

The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, 'Do you know why I pulled you over?'

To which she replied, "yeah but i'm late for work."

'Oh yeah,' said the cop, 'what do you do?'

'I'm a rectum stretcher,' she respo...

Heisenberg is pulled over by a cop

Heisenberg is pulled over by a cop.
Cop: Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?
Heisenberg: No
Cop: You were going 80 miles an hour.
Heisenberg: Goddamn it, now I dont know where the hell I am

A woman was caught speeding.

The police officer, who was a newly trained recruit walked over to the car and started asking her questions

Cop: "Do you know why I pulled you over mam?"

Woman:"No sir"

Cop: "Well you were speeding so I need some id mam"

Woman: "I don't have any id"

The Cop being w...

A very reasonable excuse

A fellow who was exceeding the speed limit when he caught the sight of red & blue flashing lights in the rear view.

Pulling his car over, the officer stopped behind him & approached the driver's window. Rolling his window down the driver had a terrified look on his face. The office a...

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A guy is driving with his wife a few towns away from home when out of

nowhere a cop pulls him over for speeding. The cop says, "do you know why I pulled you over?'' The guy's wife says ''What'd he say?'' "HE SAID, DID I KNOW WHY HE PULLED ME OVER." Then the cop says "you were going 45 in a school zone." "What'd he say?" "HE SAYS I WAS SPEEDING." Then the cop says, "li...

Old man

An old man got pulled over for going over the speed limit.

Officer : Do you know why i pulled you over?

Old man: Obviously because I'm late delivering these donuts.

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A Man was driving down the highway...

When he sees the siren of a police car appear behind him. The police officer pulls the man over and asks for his license and registration, the man, obviously upset, hands the information to the officer, the officer then asks, -Do you know why I pulled you over?-
_
The man knew why. "I understa...

I got pulled over by Cop today...

Cop: "Do you know why I pulled you over?"

Me: "Yeah. It's that short in my taillights. Everytime I turn they blink on and off."

Cop; "You gotta get that fixed. No one else's car on the road is doing that."

A man was speeding down the road...

A man was speeding down the road when a cop pulled him over. The cop says, "son, do you know why I pulled you over?"

The man responds, "well, gee, officer. I don't know. Is it the dead body in my trunk?"

The officer is shocked. "There's a dead body in your trunk?" The officer runs bac...

A man gets pulled over for running a stop sign in the middle of the night.

Officer says "Evening sir. Do you know why I pulled you over?" Man says "Yeah I guess I kind of rolled through that stop sign. It's late and there's no traffic so I just slowed down instead of stopping. No big deal right?" Officer thinks for a moment and then begins punching the man repeatedly in th...

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A man wakes up late and has to speed to get to work on time...

He's flying down the highway, doing 90 in a 60. He approaches an overpass and sees a cop above running radar. The man thinks to.m himself, "shit".

Sure enough, lights and sirens and the cop is pulling him over. He officer approaches the car and asks the man, "Sir, do you know why I pulled yo...

A car full of elderly women gets pulled over on the highway for going to slow

The officer walks over to the drivers window and asks "do you know why I pulled you over?" The driver says "no why?" The officer says "you were doing 8mph on the highway" the elderly woman looks confused and says "what do you mean, I was going the speed limit" while she was pointing at a sign on the...

The Pope visits America

So the pope is visiting the U.S. and is in New York City. He gets picked up from the airport and starts getting a tour of the city.

He talks to the driver and they hit it off really well and are laughing like friends soon. The Pope says to the driver, "I haven't driven a car in years! Would y...

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A police officer pulls a man over because he hadn't obeyed the stop sign. The cop approaches the window...

Cop-"Do you know why I pulled you over?"

Driver-"I didn't do anything wrong"

Cop-"You didn't stop at the stop sign, you only slowed down, and that is still illegal"

Driver-"slowing down, stopping, same thing! That's bull shit! I was still being careful!"

Cop-"step out of...

A man is pulled over speeding..

the State Trooper walks up to the driver's window and asks the driver "do you know why I pulled you over?" "Yes" the man says, "I was speeding." "Why were you speeding?" the Trooper asks.

"My ex-wife left me for a Trooper, and I thought maybe you were him, trying to bring her back!"

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The Policeman & The Hispanic

It’s around the holiday season and Bob the policeman is scheduled to work. He decides to set up a speed trap at his favorite roadway in Arkansas.

It’s been a few hours and Bob hasn’t seen a single driver. Just then, suddenly a pickup truck flies past him doing well over double the speed limit...

A CHP officer noticed a car going extremely slowly down a freeway…

It was going a little over 10 mph according to his radar gun, and as it was completely screwing up the rest of traffic, he decided to pull it over.

He notices that the driver is a blonde woman, and proceeds to go through the typical routine.

"Do you know why I pulled you over ma'am?" h...

Grandpa told me this one last night at dinner

A lawyer is driving down the quiet country road and is approaching a stop sign. The road is completely devoid of people or other drivers, so the lawyer just slows down a bit to be safe, but otherwise drives through the intersection.

Suddenly a siren goes off and seemingly out of nowhere a po...

A traffic cop in India

Somewhere in the south of India a traffic cop was wasting away his day. His stretch of the road has been empty for hours, so he hasn't pulled anyone over, wrote no tickets, and hasn't taken any bribes. Hungry and angry he decided to pack up for the day, when he saw an old man riding a donkey in the ...

A truck driver was speeding down the highway.

A police officer is on his tail, lights flashing. It takes the driver awhile before he stops the truck. The officer gets out of his car and comes to talk to the driver.
Driver: "Afternoon officer"
Officer: "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
Driver: "Yessir, I was speeding"
"Oh?"...

A cop pulled me over on the freeway.

He said "Sir, do you know why I pulled you over today?"

I said "No sir."

He told me "I clocked you in at 80 mph in a 65."

I tried to reason with him, saying "well officer, you see, I was just trying to keep up with traffic."

He looked at me puzzled and retorted "there's n...

A rookie cop pulls a car over, and walks up to the driver.

The driver rolls his window down, and the cop says, "Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?"

The driver looks at the cop, who is about his son's age, and responds, "No officer. I thought for sure that you would know."

Stop sign

A guy is driving, comes up to a four way stop. He slows down, looks down each street quickly and goes through the sign. A few moments later a police officer pulls him over.
The officer approaches the driver, asks "do you know why I pulled you over?".
The driver sighs, "yes, it's because I sl...

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An old couple was driving through Kentucky

As they were driving down one stretch of highway, they got pulled over by a state trooper. The trooper approached the car and asked the driver to roll down his window.

"Hi sir, do you know why I pulled you over today?"

"Actually no sir, I don't."

"You were going 75 in a 55...

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Voodoo Dick [Gets a bit raunchy]

Once, a rich man had to go on a business trip for a long weekend, leaving his young, beautiful wife home alone. Fearing she would seek company with another man while he was away, he got her a magical gift from a near by antique shop.

"What is this?" the young beauty asked.

"This is th...

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