When Jeff was younger, a guy would often begin a conversation with a lady by asking her what her astrological sign was. As usual, it didn't work for him. At a party, he asked a young lady, "Hey, what's your sign?" She took a quick look at him and replied, "Do Not Disturb."
Trapped
An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight. The next morning as the pilot was prepari...
How do you talk to a COVID denier
Without raising your voice so you do not disturb the other patients in the mental health ward.
Probably only amusing if you work in construction...
3 construction workers went on a hunting trip - a crane operator, a laborer, and a surveyor. The three spent a good hour walking through the woods, looking for the laborer's tree stand before they realized they were lost. Looking around, they had no way to figure out which way to go to get back to t...
What is a couples' favorite sign?
The "Do Not Disturb" sign.
A man checks into a hotel for the first time in his life, and goes up to his room.
Five minutes later he calls the desk and say, “You’ve given me a room with no exit. How do I leave?”
The desk clerk says, “Sir, that’s absurd. Have you looked for the door?”
The person says, “Well, there’s one door that leads to the bathroom. There’s a second door that goes into the cl...
John and Sir each got a horse
Sir: John...
John: yes, Sir?
Sir: How the world will i tell them apart?
J: Well, Sir...
S: Maybe if i do this *cuts John's horse's tail*... Yes, much better!
J:... But, Sir!
S: Do not disturb me, i...
J:... But that is my horse, Sir!
S: Darn ...
Ever wonder why they don't include the cause of death in an obituary?
It's because they want you to show up and ask how they died in person. Why do you think they include the service times?
*This is a joke. Please do not disturb a family who had a loved one pass away.*
Horror movies are always much tamer when I watch them on my iPhone
I have it set to Do Not Disturb
help: iphone 6s freezes but only when i play song "down with the sickness" any ideas??
edit: thx guys, turns out i was in "Do Not Disturbed" mode
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