UPJOKE
recuseunfitindisposechangealterdisbarmodifyacquitdismissincriminaterevokeexonerateinvalidateoverrulenullify

Disqualified Jokes

France should be disqualified!

They have one Tchouaméni on the pitch.

Why did the car get disqualified from the neighborhood drag race?

>!No spoilers!<

I feel really bad for the Mexican Olympian disqualified from weightlifting for excessive use of protein.

They told him, "No whey, José."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My late Grandfathers favorite joke

There was an American wrestler from Texas named John, who throughout his high school career had never lost a match. As he went on into college he continued undefeated. He became a national icon and symbol of American strength.

News began to circulate of a Russian wrestler who was fierce and u...

medina spirit was disqualified for a second failed drug test

experts described the horse's urine sample as "funky, cold"

BREAKING - Paul McCartney disqualified from London Marathon

He was banned on the run.

Why was Aladdin disqualified from the Rio Olympics?

He was on performance-enhancing rugs.

So this Limbo Champion walks into a bar...

and was immediately disqualified.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I used to bartend for this popular place off a rural highway in my state…

I used to bartend for this popular place off a rural highway in my state. It marketed itself as a tavern, to get tourists to come in and buy a bite to eat, but the locals knew it by the name of the former owner, Pete.

Pete had died a few years before I started working there. His younger broth...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A radio station is having a contest

Any caller who can come up with a word the DJ can't find in the dictionary wins the prize. They have to spell it and use it in a sentence. After many calls and many failed attempts, someone finally has one. "Thanks for calling 105.3! What's your word caller?". "Goan, spelled G-O-A-N." After sco...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two guys get called up for military service

Coincidentally, they both live in the same street so they share a ride.

During the ride, one says to the other: "I'm going to tell you right now, they will disqualify me for military service."

The other replies: "Really? How can you be so sure?"

"I'll tell you later." The first ...

Want to know why it’s called the British Channel, and not the French Channel?

Well to settle the argument a long while ago, British and French noblemen decided to race cats along the Channel for the naming rights.

So the British cat crossed the Channel in,

one, two, three, four and five easy steps.

The French cat attempted the crossing,

Un, duex...

A pole vaulter walks into a bar

She's disqualified (and really tall).

Difficult essay exam

One day a student was taking a very difficult essay exam. At the end of the test, the prof asked all the students to put their pencils down and immediately hand in their tests. The young man kept writing furioulsy, although he was warned that if he did not stop immediately he would be disqualified. ...

Two comedians were having a judged competition for telling original knock, knock jokes.

They were both disqualified as the whole competition was essentially a knock off

An Irishman moved to Germany

Now the town of Hamburg had an annual race around the edge of town, and the transplant decided to enter. However, when he went to sign up he found that there was an entry fee which he was far too miserly to pay. Instead, he slipped through the crowd and lined up with the other entrants.

Ban...

I watched a dog show today and was not impressed. My Mutt would run circles around these Pure Breds!

And probably get disqualified for doing so.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some Christians, Jews and Muslims decide to settle once and for all whose God is real

They decide to each send someone to jump from a cliff while shouting their God's name to prove it and if the jumper survives then their God is indeed real


Muslims decide to go first then the Jews followed finally by Christians.


The lone Muslim man selected by his people stands...

A German, an Irishman, an Englishman, a Scot, and a Spaniard are running a race. Who wins?

The Irishman. The German can't finish a race, the Englishman paid off the judges to screw the Scot, who tripped the Englishman, and the Spaniard punched themselves and blamed their neighbor who isn't even there.

Also, the Irishman was disqualified after the fact, when it was discovered he was...

Why did they cancel basketball in the Special Olympics?

All the players kept getting disqualified for excessive dribbling.

I got called racist for saying 'pitch black'

The umpire disqualified me and told me I struck out and that the better thing to say would be 'Jamal, I'm ready for your fastball'.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

During the Dark Ages, the Pope decrees that he is going to expel all of the Jews out of Europe...

...naturally, the Jews aren't very happy with this. Jewish people all over Europe start protesting in the streets, demanding that the Pope change his mind and let the Jewish people stay. Since the protests and riots are starting to get a bit chaotic and violent, the Pope creates a proposition. He wi...

So an Olympian walks into a bar...

and is promptly disqualified from her final attempt at the high jump and has all her hopes and dreams of winning gold for her country destroyed.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.