UPJOKE

Depressed Person Jokes

How long does it take for a depressed person to change a light bulb?

5 days. & I’m pretty proud of myself.

What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?

Pizza won't cut itself.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How does a depressed person view life?

There are sad days, and also Saturdays...

How are a sloth and a depressed person similar?

Both hang from trees.

What’s a Depressed persons favorite drink?

A Depresso Espresso

Jk it’s cyanide

What's common between a coffin and a depressed person?

Both have dead inside

What does a depressed person do when they leave the toilet?

I don’t know, they just feel empty inside

(Courtesy of my ten-year-old cousin. He told me he made it up, what a legend)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is the difference between a comedian and a depressed person?

One has the balls to go on stage.

A depressed person and a happy person walk into a hardware store, how can you tell the two apart?

The depressed one goes straight for the ropes while the happy one follows them with a camera and is wearing a green hat with three eyes on it.

A depressed person opens r/Jokes to smile a little bit...

...WORST IDEA EVER

What is a depressed person's favorite outdoor activity?

Cryaking.

I'm sorry.

The Glass

Happy person: The glass is half full

Depressed person: The glass is half empty

The Engineer: The glass is twice as big as necessary.

A biker walks into the bar

He looks at a depressed person sitting with his drink in his hand, he walks up to him, snatches the drinks and downs it in one gulp

"what you gonna do about it?" he says

"This is the worst day of my life!" the depressed man cries

"I'm a complete failure. I was late at the office...

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