A blind guy, a deaf guy and a disabled guy in a wheelchair pass by a magic lake.

Just for fun, they decide to try out this supposedly miraculous lake. The blind guy stumbles in first and stays around in the water for a while, Then he comes out, bouncing with joy, saying "My sight has returned! I can see now!". The deaf guy went in right after and took a swim. He came out just as...

Did you hear the joke about the deaf guy?

Yeah, neither did he

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two deaf guys stop off in a pub one night on the way home from their lip reading class.

Communicating by using their new lip reading skills one offers to buy the drinks and gives the money to the other who goes to the bar to get them.

At the bar he asks for two pints of lager which the barman puts on the bar and then says “that’ll be £15 please.”

The deaf guy looks shocke...

A mute guy, a deaf guy and a drunk guy walk into a bar...

The mute guy says

“What are you guys having to drink?”

The deaf guy realizes that the mute just somehow talked and asks him

“How come you just spoke if you’re mute?”

The drunk guy starts to come to his senses about the situation that the supposed deaf guy somehow heard...

Ever hear about the deaf guy who walked into a bar?

Neither did I, but I have one hell of a bruise now.

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2 deaf guys walk into a bar

1 sits down and the other walks up to the bar. The deaf man says "I'd like 2 pints of bitter please" the bartender pours the pints and says to the man " that would be £16" the man says "£16 why £16" the bartender replies "that's 8 for the bitter and 8 for the music" the man asks "music what music. I...

Why do deaf guys like upskirt??

Because they can read lips.

What did a drunk guy say to a deaf guy who accidentally hit him with his elbow?

"Hey, watch your language!"

Dad: Hey son, have you heard that joke with the deaf guy and a dumbass?

Son: No, what is it?

Dad: I'm sorry, what?

Son: What's the joke?

Dad: I can't hear you.

Son: I hate you.

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A deaf guy stole his neighbor's chicken

Next morning, she sees him and says "good morning"

A blind guy, a deaf guy and a disable person cross a river that grants you one wish.

Blind guy: "My wish is to able to see again"

He crosses the river and he is able to see again.

Deaf guy: "I wish to get my hearing back"

His wish is granted as he crosses the river.

The disabled guy sees that the previous two wishes were granted and rushes in the river in...

A deaf guy lost a lawsuit.

He didn't even know that there was a hearing.

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Two lip-reading deaf guys walk into a pub.

One turns to the other and says (in a mongy deaf voice), "You go find a seat...I'll get the drinks in".
He walks up to the bar and says, "Bartender, could I please have two pints of lager?"
"Certainly," replies the barman, "That'll be £10."
"Ten pounds?" gasps the deaf guy, "That's a...

What do you call two deaf guys and a blind guy

Anything you want, two don't know what's going on and the third can't find you.

What do you call a deaf guy with three legs, two noses, four ears, and a unibrow?

It doesn't matter, he isn't gonna hear you.

A deaf guy walks into a bar...

A deaf guy walks into a bar.

Bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here."

Deaf guy says, "I'll have a beer."

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Deaf guy finds a loophole to get jerked off when his wife isn't in the mood

An old deaf couple was sitting on their couch when the wife wrote, "Honey, if you want to have sex, squeeze my left boob once. If you don't want to, squeeze my right boob twice."

The husband wrote back, "If you want to have sex, grab my dick once. If you don't, grab it a 150 times."

What do you get when a deaf guy tries to talk to you at a urinal?


My impression of 2 old nearly deaf guys at the park sitting on a bench together.

Old guy 1. Boy, it sure is windy.

Old guy 2. No it's not! It's Thursday!

Old guy 1. Yeah me too. Lets go get a beer.

Did you hear about the Deaf guy with Parkinson's?

His sign language was a little shaky

I was playing charades with a deaf guy

Or as he called it, "having a chat".

Did you hear about the deaf guy who could sing?

Ya, well he didn't

Two deaf guys...

Two deaf guys, Ed and Harry, were hanging out talking, when Ed told Harry a joke. Harry laughed so hard he broke three fingers...

Did you know Trump nominated a deaf guy to the Presidential cabinet?

Congress confirmed him without a hearing.

At a monastery

3 disabled friars are walking the grounds of the monastery. 1 blind, 1 deaf and 1 in a wheelchair. They walk past a lake and the blind one says it is a holly lake that miracles occur in. The guy in the wheelchair says let's try. The blind guy enters and when he comes out he says "what a beautiful mo...

Doctor: *panic*

Disabled guy: Stands

Blind guy: “did he just stand?”

Deaf guy: “did he just see?”

Mute guy: “did he just hear?”

A joke

A priest, a rabbi and an imam enter a bar, order a drink and finds a place to sit.
Then a construction worker, a native american and a police officer comes in and do the same thing.
And then a dane, a swede and a norwegian enters too.
Then a blind guy, a deaf guy and a mute guy.
And the...

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