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Deadly Sins Jokes

A guy goes to confession and tells the priest that he committed all 7 deadly sins in one day.

He says "I was trying to get money together for the perfect house and someone bought it first. I got so angry and envious that I disguised myself as the utilities man and went over while he was at work. I seduced his wife and when she was showering I stole all the cash and jewelry I could find. Then...

7 deadly sins

Eating too much cake is a sin of gluttony, but eating too much pie is okay because the sin of pi is always zero.

One morning, a priest gives a sermon on the Seven Deadly Sins

After the sermon, a guy goes up to the priest and says, "Father, thank you so much for giving that sermon. It meant so much to me, and I'll tell you why. I lost my hat last week and I couldn't find it anywhere. I finally decided to steal a new one from the store, but now that I heard your sermon, I'...

Did you know that the seven main characters on SpongeBob SquarePants represent the seven deadly sins?

SpongeBob:

Patrick:

Squidward:

Sandy:

Plankton:

Gary:

Mr. Krabs: Lust, sloth, wrath, pride, envy, gluttony, and greed

If you commit one of the seven deadly sins you should be punished.

If you commit all of them you should be a politician.

The seven deadly sins were having a Mexican stand-off...

Greed-o shot first

In a confession booth...

ME: I committed all seven deadly sins in 30 minutes.

PRIEST: Wow I gotta hear this.

ME: I was angry and envious at my neighbor so I lazily seduced his wife and ate all his groceries and I didn't share.

PRIEST: You forgot pride.

ME: No, Im pretty proud of this.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A roman, an american, and a jewish man all died.

They were immediately sent to hell because they had committed some pretty unsettling offenses in their lives. The roman was a lustful sex offender, the american was extremely gluttonous, and the Jewish man was very greedy and stole lots of money over his lifetime.

Well, God was feeling pretty...

I went to a confession booth to confess my sins

Me: Forgive me father for I have sinned; today I committed all 7 deadly sins in less than one hour.

Priest: well I gotta hear how that happened

Me: I was envious and angry at my neighbor so I lazily seduced his wife and ate both of their dinners without sharing any.

Priest: that...

June is Pride Month...

...so what does that make the other Deadly Sins?

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