UPJOKE

Dead Cats Jokes

What do you call a bunch of dead cats on the side of the road?

Litter.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My favorite joke I'm sure you've heard it before.

So Heisenberg, Schrodinger, and Ohm are in a car driving down the freeway when a cop pulls them over. The cop comes to the window and asks,

"Do you know how fast you were going?"

Heisenberg replies, "No but I know exactly where I am."

"You were doing 120mph in a 60mph zone!" Say...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The kindergartener who pissed in a cats ear

This little kindergartener runs into school and yells “Miss! Miss! There’s a dead cat outside!”
And she goes “well how do you know it’s dead?”
And he goes “well I pissed in it’s ear and it didn’t move so it must be dead.”
And she goes into shock, “Oh my god! You did what? You pissed in the ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend was grieving the loss of her pet cat so I decided to give her a cat exactly the same as hers

Instead of thanking me, she just screamed in my face “what the fuck am i supposed to do with 2 dead cats!?”

No Pleasing Women

My girlfriend's cat died, so I got her one just like it. Now she's locked me out of the house and is yelling "What am I supposed to do with two dead cats?"

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