Dead Bird Jokes

Won't go cheep

The other looked up.

The Grim Cheeper.

The blonde looks up in the sky, “WHERE,!WHERE?”

After long term illness my obese parrot died yesterday. Whilst deeply upsetting, it is a weight off my shoulder.

Has two eyes but doesn't see, has two legs but doesn't walk?

A dead bird.

At the courtroom, the man tells the judge he's been out of work for many months and only shot the hawk because he hadn't eaten in days. The judge decides to let him off with 6 months probation.

As the guy is leaving the judge says, "hey, what does hawk taste like anyway?"

The guy say... read more

He figured it must have been a murder of crows

Teacher: which birds can't fly?

Student: Dead birds.

A farmer placed a grandfather clock out in his field. Every time a bird was swooping in to get some crops - the bird would catch eye of the clock instead. As the bird landed on the clock, it would die! It was a mystery - but the farmer didn't care as it worked better than a scarecrow. Pretty soon wo... read more

My uncle is a southern farmer. One day he witnessed another man dove hunting close to his property line. The man shoots a bird that falls on my uncle’s property line, which my uncle promptly goes to pick up.

The man tries to plea with my uncle but he’s not having it. The dead bird is on his p... read more

He had with him a rucksack and a broom. He had to inspect all the cages and make sure they were clean. First he checked on the bird sanctuary. Aside from Some droppings there were 2 dead birds on the ground. He scooped them into his rucksack and moved on.
Next, he checked the primate cages and he... read more

A woman goes into vet because of her bird, after about an hour the doctor comes out and the conversation begins.

Doctor: “I’m sorry but your bird is dead”

Owner: “Is there anything you can do?”

Doctor: “Well we can try but I cannot promise anything.”

The doctor brings in... read more

One of them says: "Ouuh... look, a dead bird"

And the other looks up and asks: "Where?"

A little boy with a speech impediment got himself a pet bird for Christmas. One day, he went to the pet store to buy it some food.

He walked in and asked the man working in the store, "excuse me, mister, but do you sell any boyd seed?"

The man said "we do, but I'm sorry I can't sell a... read more

I read an article a few years ago about the Massachusetts highway department getting an increased number of complaints about dead crows by the highways.

The state consulted behavioural experts, and performed autopsies of some of the dead birds and determined that they were scavenging by the r... read more

A boy decides he'd like to have a parrot. But searching around he finds that they are all very expensive. He finally finds one at a discount a a local pet shop but it has a crooked beak.

He decides to buy it anyway because he's read on the internet that it can be carefully filed straight. ... read more

A strict vegetarian crashes his plane in the middle of the country and has to find his way to civilization. Due to a tragic experience as a child, he refuses to eat meat; he says the idea of eating what was once a living animal disgusts him and he could never enjoy eating meat. According to his ma... read more

the dad tells her daughter "Look a dead bird!"

The blonde looks up and says "Where?"
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(don't know if this is a repost or not, but just remembered this joke I heard a long time ago and decided t... read more