Dating Advice Jokes

He's just not sure that radiocarbon is the most reliable method.

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "An old man once gave me great dating advice that I still follow to this day," he tells the bartender. "What was it?" the bartender asks. "He said, 'Find yourself a younger woman," the guy says. " I asked why and he told me 'because every woman is going to t... read more

My friend tells me : 'There's this girl at work I like...

I say 'She's way out of your league'

Him - 'You haven't even seen her...'

Me: 'I've seen YOU...'

Do not date a car mechanic if you're looking for a long term partner. Typically, a mechanic just nuts and bolts.

They get laid before they're even born

The penny saw the nickel take two dimes to his quarters.

They're trained to look for red flags.

He said that after you've got to know them, take them home and make them a meal

So it's Friday night in the synagogue and during the course of the service the rabbi standing at the pulpit is looking out over the back to the congregation. In the very back he sees a young man who's got his head in his hands for the entire service. He's very concerned about this so after the servi... read more

I had a date() with PHP and I had to mktime() for it.

What do you look for in a woman?

A man wanted to find a woman and asked the computer to find him the perfect match: "I want someone who is small and cute, loves the water sports and enjoys group activities."

Back came the answer: "Marry a penguin."

Not sure why they're offering dating advice, but okay.

Whats a farmers best dating advice?

A tractor