Daily Life Jokes - 13 Hilarious Daily Life Jokes

So I decided to incorporate Twitter into my daily life

I think it's going well, but these women keep asking me why I'm following them.

People living with HIV, what is your daily life like?

I’m guessing pretty positive

Daily life of girls in bars.

A girl would leave the bar's restroom, a man would walk towards her.

>Man : You are one beautiful lady, may i get you a drink ?
>
>
>
>Girl : I came here with someone.
>
>
>
>Man : I am the bartender ...

What’s the difference between my daily life and a funeral?

In the morning I’m awake, but in a wake I’m mourning.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A local news station interviews a farmer about a farmer's daily life.

Interviewer: So, Mister, where do you wash your cows?
Farmer: The white one or the black one?

The interviewer wonders what the farmer means and goes along with it.

Interviewer: Umm... the white one.
Farmer: I wash her by the river.
Interviewer: What about the black one? ...

Some laws that we didn't learn at school

01. *LORENZ'S LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR*

Once your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

02. *ANTHONY'S LAW OF THE WORKSHOP*

Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

03. *KOVAC'S CONUNDRUM*

When u dial a wrong numbe...

David Cameron has said the UK's mission in Afghanistan is 'accomplished'...

David Cameron has said the UK's mission in Afghanistan is 'accomplished'.

We're leaving that country in a state of poverty and despair, where half the population can't read and daily life is blighted by the ever-present threat of needless violence.

Yes, we've brought the British way of...

How the Angel Came to be on Top of the Christmas Tree

There had been no snow during the entire month of November, and there
didn't appear to be coming any snow any time soon, either. The elves in
the bicycle department had been on strike since October, and there was the
possibility that the elves in the doll department might join them.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Man and His Problem

A man had an extraordinary problem. He had a 15 inch penis. Naturally, it caused him great inconvenience in his daily life, so he wished to shorten his penis. He went to many a doctor, but they all confessed that it was beyond them to fix him. Having lost all hope, as a last resort he visited a wit...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man got into a nasty accident

in which his penis was ripped off. At the hospital the surgeon was at wit’s end at what to do. Then he came a across a big dog whose penis he cut off and then stitched onto the man.

The man recovered and went about his daily life. One day the doctor met him and asked him about his penis. The...

A joke I heard recently about depression:

One day, a man is so sick and tired of the usual routine that he decides to finally take action and seek a doctor for psychological help.

He goes to the doctor and confesses for the first time the feelings which haunt his daily life: how he perceives the world is harsh and cruel, how he feels...

A pastor dies and get into heaven

He arrives at the pearly gates. Saint Peter is sitting high atop a chair at a podium greets him. "John H Smith, welcome to Heaven. We have seen your life's work. Here is a key to your mansion with 10 rooms, silver gilded windows & golden walls. 20 angels to help you with your daily lifes...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Robert Johnson, a CEO for a large corporation, is arrested and sentenced to 25 years in prison for white collar crimes.

On his first day behind bars, Robert nervously walks into the Chow Hall at lunch time and starts taking in the scenery. Realizing that he’s going to spend the next 25 years surrounded by murderers, rapists, and other violent criminals, he uncomfortably gets his tray of food and starts looking for a ...

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