UPJOKE

Dad Tells Jokes

my dad tells a dad joke

so i tell my dad "im cold" and he responds with "go stand in the corner its 90 degrees

Step-dad tells his step-son to clean his room

Step-son: Am I going to have to pour hot melted cheese all over myself?

Step-dad: Why would you have to do that?

Step-son: To remind you that I'm NACHO son

At school one day, Little Johnny’s teacher asks the class to use the word “contagious” in a sentence…

Cindy raises her hand. “Yes, Cindy?” She answers, “I was at the dentist’s office with my mom, and she said not to play with the toys in the waiting room because the other kids were contagious.”

“Very good, Cindy!” the teacher said, “Anyone else want to try?” Samantha raises her hand. “Yes, Sa...

A dad tells his son that he wants him to marry a girl of his choice.

“No” replies the son.
“The girl is Bill Gates’ daughter” says the dad.
“Ok then” replies the son.
The dad goes to Bill Gates
“Can your daughter marry my son?” asks the dad.
“No” replies Bill Gates.
“But my son is the CEO of World Bank” said the dad.
“Then ok” says Bill Gates
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My dad tells this joke everywhere.

Apparently, my dad feels it's appropriate to tell everyone this joke. Waiters, salesmen, etc.

An American man is on a business trip to Ireland. He decides to take a break from his work and heads to the local pub. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender, being very upfront says, "You se...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Father and little boy go fishing

After an hour fishing, dad cracks open a beer. Little boy looks up at his dad with wonder and asks for a sip. Dad says "Well Son, that depends. Can your dick reach your asshole?"


Little boy says "No."


Dad tells him "Some day it will. That's the day you can have a beer." And...

My dad tells this joke all the time. kind of long. enjoy

One day a young man with no arms walked into a church and told the pastor that he always wanted to be a bell ringer. The pastor looked at him and said, “my son, you have no arms to pull the rope and the bell tower is very high.” The young man pleaded with the pastor to give him a chance. Finally the...

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