UPJOKE

Why did the chicken cross the road?







To take a photo in front of a church.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side.

I don’t know if anyone else has had this experience, but I was today years old when I realized that this joke is actually a fairly clever double entendre. I always thought it was a dumb “of course” punchline and it never remotely occurred to me that it had to do wit...

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

She wasn't wearing her seatbelt.

My Daughter: "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

Me: "I dunno"

"To get to the idiots house"
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"Knock knock"

Me: "Who's there?"

"It's the chicken...."



She's 8...

Why did the console player cross the road?

To render the buildings on the other side.

Why did the sperm cross the road?

I put on the wrong socks this morning.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the semen cross the road?

I wore the wrong socks this morning



*Edit: Not my joke but haven't seen it here and thought it was funny :)*

Why did the dog cross the road, roll in the dirt, and cross the road again?

Because he’s a dirty, double-crossing son of a b*tch.

*edit* And a such GOOD one, yes he IS!

why did a child cross the road?

cause he didnt wear his seatbelt

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why'd the pervert cross the road?

Because his dick was stuck in the chicken.

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

DONALD TRUMP: I've been told by my many sources, good sources - they're very good sources - that the chicken crossed the road. All the Fake News wants to do is write nasty things about the road, but it's a really good road. It's a beautiful road. Everyone knows how beautiful it is.

JOE BIDEN:...

Why did the pig cross the road?

Because the chicken told him to teargas protestors for a photo-op

Why did the Libertarian cross the road?

None of your damn business. Am I being detained?

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Ok.. Hear me out

So the perceived 'Road' in this case is actually the trick by the government to sell more adapters to construction company. This is because the secret lizard people of the UNDERGROUND are controlling the chickens neurons and each brain cell is secretly in on the plot. Y...

Why do chickens in Germany cross the road?

They are just following orders

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the verbose chicken cross the road?

To transform into reality his long-anticipated dream of embarking on a risky voyage of strenuous bodily effort so that he can undergo physical displacement in three-dimensional space from one vantage point on the lengthy stretch of black asphalt to another one symmetrically adjacent to the first.

How did the pumpkin cross the road?

With some help from the crossing gourd.

Why did the plant-based chicken cross the road?

Idk, it’s beyond meat.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the semen cross the road?

Because you wore the wrong sock today.

While I'm up here on the moral highground, let me tell you about poor little Ukurugenzi.

Ukurugenzi is an 8-year old Kenyan orphan who walks 11 miles to his mud-hut school every day. With your donation of just 25 cents a day, we can buy a whip and...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the mods of r/iamatotalpieceofshit cross the road?

To collect money from Joel Michael Singer.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the Nazi chicken cross the road?

He was following orders.

(stolen from Troy Bond)

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because it wanted to die.

(Genius submission from my 5 year old son)

My 8 year old cousin: " Why did the chicken cross the road?"

8yo cousin: To get to the idiot's house.

Me (patronizingly): Oh..uh..yeah good one haha.

8yo cousin: Wanna hear another one? Knock knock

Me: Who's there

8yo: The chicken.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Trick question. 4/channers don't leave the house.

why did the vegan cross the road?

To tell you they're vegan

Why did the Bubblegum cross the road?

Because it was stuck to the chicken's foot.

...

Credit goes to my 6 year old son who told me this just now.

Why did the chicken cross the road with a secret document?

Who needs to know?

A Duck is about to cross the road

When a chicken runs out to stop him screaming "Don't do it man - you'll never hear the end of it!"

Q:Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: To visit his friend the dummy.

M: Knock knock

Y: Who's there

M: Your friend the chicken!

[My 7yo told me this one and caught me off guard...]

Why did Goku cross the road?

Find out next time on Dragonball Z!

Hey, Chicken, why did you cross the road?

I'm sorry, I thought this was a free range country!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because North Korea's long range missiles can't reach that far

"Why did the chicken cross the road?" is a literary masterpiece!

Some might even call it poultry in motion...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

2 chickens are trying to cross the road

The one turns around to the other and asks “shall we cross here?” The other chicken replies “fuck that! Have you saw what they done to the zebra?!”

Why did the pie cross the road?

Because it was meetin' potato.

Why did the water cross the road?

Because it didn’t give a dam!


-my 5 year old daughter

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because it had crippling depression, it was constantly reminded that it's life was worthless to those it was looked down on by. A mere piece of meat, not a living creature, worthy of respect, and dignity. It didn't want to live in a constant state of fear and depression, knowing that it's only purpo...

Why did the Hedgehog cross the road?

To see his flat mate...

Why did the parrot cross the road?

So he could use the cross-squawk. (Pretty sure I just made that up)

Why did the one-handed man cross the road?

To get to the second-hand shop.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because the road had betrayed the chicken many years earlier.

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