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Why won’t cannibalistic children eat homosexuals and cripples?

Because kids don’t like to eat fruits and vegetables.

My crippled girlfriend broke up with me, so i stole her wheelchair.

Guess who came crawling back

What do you call a crippled pothead?

A baked potato

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My Brother The Cripple.

My oldest brother was born with little use of his legs resulting in him using crutches. For his whole life we went through vigorous treatments and therapy. When he was about 14 we moved to a new town. The local kids made fun him daily calling him names and just being overall assholes. He was so fe...

Why does everyone make fun of the cripple kid?

Because he can't stand up for himself.

What do you call a funny cripple?

A sit down comedian

So a crippled guy walks into a bar

Wait what?

Why are cripples so easy to bully?

They can’t stand up for them selves.

What do you call a crippled kid locked in a hot car?

Steamed Vegetable.

What's the difference between crippling depression and crippled depression?

One can't get out of bed because they're depressed, the other is depressed because they can't get out of bed.

I got into a fight with a crippled guy.

He didn't stand a chance.

Life's Philosophy

The great man told his followers, 'There are 2 things in life that matters above all else - Integrity, if you'd made a promise, you carry it out, even if it bankrupts you, cripples you or kills you. The other thing is common sense, like not making that promise'.

Which sith lord prefers to cripple his opponents rather than kill them?

Darth Ritis

You can call a diabetic a cripple because

they’re candicapped

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I'm starting to think my crippled neighbor is gay.

I am not sure if I should call him a fruit or a vegetable

My crippled friend said he wanted hot wheels for his birthday

So I lit his wheelchair on fire

Why are crippled people always picked on?

because they can’t stand up for themselves.

The crippled man covered his bald spot

He put on his handy cap

Yesterday I ran over three disabled kids and I call it a...

Cripple kill

My grandad said there’s gangs at his retirement village

The blood clots and the cripples

Why do Cripples dates always go well?

They can’t get stood up.

What did the deaf, blind, crippled kid get for Christmas?

Cancer.

Genghis Khan once had the hands of an entire village of superb bowmen maimed so their skills could never be used against him. Similarly, he crippled a conquered town of excellent sprinters

For the town, it was a crushing de feet

Stop with the Cripple Jokes!

I can’t stand them.

My friend is a crippled reprobate...

He stands for nothing.

I saw some crippled kid getting picked on the other day...

He got kinda upset with me when I told him to stand up for himself.

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My friends and I get bullied a lot

I was at school, going to the lunchroom with my friends- James (he has Parkinson's Disease), Alex (he's mute), Megan (she's completely blind in both eyes), Abby (she has asthma) and Hayley (she's albino). I myself am paralyzed from the waist down and so I need to use a wheelchair. Since my friends a...

A man came to a tailor, and tried on a suit.

As he stood before the mirror, he noticed the vest was a little uneven at the bottom.

“Oh,” said the tailor, “don’t worry about that Just hold the shorter end down with your left hand and no one will ever notice.”

While the customer proceeded to do this, he noticed that the lapel of th...

A blind and a crippled man go to a bullfight

At the bullfight, the announcer says:

- Let's have a contest now. The brave man who dares to face the bull will receive $500.

When the cripple heard this, he said to his friend,

- 500$! That's a lot of money, shall we?

To which the blind responds:

- Are you a fool?...

I think the saddest part about all those crippled children getting picked on was that

I only did it because I knew they couldn't stand up for themselves

are you sure I'm drunk?

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter.

A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in pal. You're obviously drunk."

The wasted man asked, "Officer, are you absolutely sure I'm drunk?"

"Yeah buddy, I'...

An argument in a bar

There are two men in a bar. One of them happens to be a paraplegic in a wheelchair.

An argument begins between the two men and gets heated and one man punches the man in the wheelchair knocking him down. The man who was in the wheelchair looks up at the man who knocked him down and responds...

Why did the crippled kid get bullied at school?

Because he can't stand up for himself.

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A blind man, cripple and a redneck...

A blind man, cripple and redneck are sitting at a bar having a few drinks. Jesus walks into the bar and sits next to the cripple, lays a hand on him then says "now that you can walk again how about you buy me a beer"? After he finished his beer he goes over to the blind man heals him and gets himsel...

What is the name of Bruce Lee's crippled brother?

Broccoli

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A crippled war veteran was walking down the street...

... and walking towards him was what seemed to be another grizzled man dragging one limp foot across the sidewalk.

As they approached closer, the crippled veteran gives the other man a nod of mutual respect and says, "Vietnam. 40 years back."

The other man replies, "Dog shit. 40 feet ...

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Gruesome deaths

Three men go to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter tells them that heaven is currently overloading, and only people who have had particularly gruesome or sad deaths may enter. He then proceeds to ask the first man how he died.

"Well, it's a really weird story. I came home from work early because...

What doesn't kill you

cripples you with medical debt.

Circus in a third world country suburb can be a mess

So the lion tamer was doing his thing when suddenly the lion flips and starts attacking

People freak out, chaos ensues.. the two-week hungry lion runs around the arena. People run for their lives.

A disabled guy gets up on a pole in order to save his life, thinking it might be a good p...

What has 2 legs but can not walk?

A cripple.

A goat and a hole

Two guys are walking down a road when they come across a deep hole beside it. Being curious, they go over and check it out. When they look down, they are surprised to find they can’t see the bottom. So they drop a couple of rocks down the hole and listen… Nothing. One of them says, "Man, that’s...

To support a friend, I went to a non-denominational event.

As it wasn't really my thing, I sat in the back. A priest came up to me and said, "The Lord has told me, today is the day that you will walk!" A little confused, I smiled at the priest, and told him I wasn't a cripple.

A little while later, a rabbi approached me and said, "By Hashem's word, ...

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2 men and their thirst for extreme!

2 men are standing on the ledge of a cliff... One man has a Budgie on his shoulder and the other has a parrot on his shoulder and a gun attached to his hip.

The first man with the Budgie, jumps off the cliff and as he falls the Budgie immediately flies away. The man plunges to the ground, mir...

The handsome radio host

Had a call in contest and the first person to call would get anything they asked for within reason. The phones explode with callers and he answers the first caller. It's an old crippled woman who happens to be in a wheelchair. She said she never had a date in her whole life and would like a date wit...

A group of seniors were sitting at a table together at Starbucks, discussing their ailments.

"My arms have got so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said one.

"Yes, I know," said another. "My cataracts are so bad; I can't even see my coffee."

"I couldn't even mark an 'X' at election time because my hands are so crippled," volunteered a third.

"What? Speak up! W...

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A great fitting suit

The fellow was being sold a very cheap suit. “But the left arm is a lot longer than the right arm,” he complained.

“That’s why the suit is such a bargain,” the sales clerk explained. “Just cock your left shoulder up a little, like this, and tuck this left lapel under your chin a bit, like thi...

I really don't see the point...

... of making fun of blind people...
Also I just can't stand cripple jokes...

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