UPJOKE

How do you get a country girl's attention?

A tractor.

What's the first step when dating a country girl?

A tractor.

What are the two steps to marrying a country girl?

First; a tractor.


Next; fertilizer.

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It doesn't take much to get a country girl to sleep with you

You just need to sexually a tractor

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A modest country joke [OC]

I once visited a small town. It was a country town. I asked the locals "What is there to do around here?" One of the old timers said "Well, we have a brothel."

So I went to the brothel and asked "how much does it cost?" They answered "Well, these are simple country girls, it costs a chicken f...

A young country girl (Mary) was walking down through the village with a large bull

Mr Jones stops her and says : Young Mary, where are you taking that beast?
Im taking him to farmer Giles so that the bull can mate with his cows. She replied
Can't your father do that? Asks mr Jones
No sir, says Mary, It must be the bull that does it.

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A city girl and a country girl meet for the first time...

A city girl and a country girl meet for the first time attending a class together. The country girls asks, " So, where y'all from? " The city girl scoffs, and replies: " Well, where I come from, we know better than to end a sentence with a preposition." To this the country girl pauses, thinks for ...

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Do you know how to romance a country girl?

You gotta do something sexy to a tractor.

I only go down on country girls.

With me, everything's gotta be farm-to-table.

What does it mean when you have wheels and a country girl wants you?

It means you *a tractor*

Country girl Sheila, got out of the shower and slipped on the bathroom tiles.

Instead of falling over forwards or backwards, she did the splits and suction cupped herself to the Bathroom Floor.

She yelled out for her Ol' Man, "Biker John!
He came running in.

"I've suctioned myself to the floor."

"Biker John tried to pull her up.
"You're stuck re...

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focus

Two poor country girls are broke and decide to do some nude modeling. Cherylynn has posed for the photographer before so she knows the process.

The photog invites them into his studio and offers them a drink. Darlene,being nervous, asks Cherylynn "whass that there in that jug?". The reply is ...

Friend of mine just got his wife pregnant. Told him it reminded me of this joke.

This very young and innocent country girl fell madly in
love with this Greek guy and was determined to marry him.
Her mother tried hard to stop her, but when she knew she
couldn't stop her daughter, she said to her, "Listen child,
marry him and may you live happily ever after. But t...

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A widow, Claire, was looking to move away from the city, and looked for a small town to live her final years in.

She drove a few hours out into the countryside to find a good place to move into. Eventually she came by Barkstown, and this peculiar name piqued her curiosity.

She drove in and was amazed by the amount of dogs there were in this town, but she was getting hungry from not eating all day.
...

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