UPJOKE

Couldn't Beat Jokes

Me and my friend had a bet that I couldn't beat him in a race.

I'm a big guy, so needless to say, I won.

His mom wasn't too happy to see both of his legs broken though.

Why did the Chief go out and buy all the corn he could find?

Because he couldn't beat a Buccaneer.

I'm addicted to being a bad drummer

I wanted to quit but I just couldn't beat it.

Family violence

A 6 year old kid was at the center of a NYC Courtroom earlier this month when he challenged a court ruling over who should have Custody over him. When it was discovered that his parents beat him, he was given custody over to his grandparents. A problem arises when the boy says that his grandparents ...

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A woman goes into a shoe store...

she goes to a clerk and says "i want that pair, and that pair, and that pair." and the clerk says "whoa, mam, calm down. I'll go to the back, i'll get you a few pairs, and you can try them on."The woman agrees and the clerk goes to the back to get her some shoes. He returns to the front, and tells t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A German, a Japanese and a Russian die one day

They are met in the Otherworld by an Angel, who tells them "I know all three of you have sinned enough to get sent to hell. But, screw it, I'm bored and benevolent. So I will give each of you two metal orbs. Do with them what you want. In 24 hours, whoever surprises me the most will go to heaven."...

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