UPJOKE

Confucius Says Jokes

Confucius says, man who stand on toilet

High on pot

Confucius says...

It is good to meet girl in park
but BETTER to park meat in girl

Confucius says...

“it takes many nails to build a crib but one screw to fill it.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Confucius Says

Baseball is wrong. Man with 4 balls cannot walk

Confucius says,

Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok.

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Confucius says..

"Man who put dick in peanut butter..



\- is fucking nuts!"

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Confucius Says:

Man who drops watch in toilet is bound to have a crappy time

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Confucius says... (maybe slightly nsfw)

...man who take woman camping have one in-tent.

...man who puts rooster in freezer gets stiff cock.

...man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

...man who makes love to exhaust pipe have hot rod.

My dad and brothers(and uncles) are to blame for most of these horrib...

What is your best "Confucius says" joke?

Confucius say, man who fart in church soon sit alone in own pew.

Confucius says: Woman who sleeps with judge.....

receives honorable discharge

Let's hear some Confucius Jokes

I'll start

Confucius says woman that keeps soap on top shelf will jump for joy.

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Confucius says - He who goes to bed with itchy butt

Wake up with stinky fingers.

Just remembered this from when I was 13

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A summary of the world's religions

Catholicism: Shit happens.
Protestantism: Let this shit happen to someone else.
Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
Confucianism: Confucius says "Shit happens"
Rastafarianism: Let's roll up this shit and smoke...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some Religious Truths

TAOISM: Shit happens

ZEN BUDDHISM: What is the sound of shit happening?

PROTESTANTISM: Let shit happen to someone else

ATHEISTS: Shit happens for no apparent reason

HARE KRISHNA: Shit happens/ Shit happens/ Happens, happens/ Shit happens

CONFUCIANISM: Confucius say...

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