My wife thinks I compulsively buy tools. I tell her it's really not a big deal....

It's my vice.

For all my life my dad kept messing with the ledge above the fire place, lengthening it, shortening it, sanding it, painting it. But he died last week. After I got home from the funeral I compulsively got my tools out and raised it six inches higher ...

... I guess you could say I’ve taken up his mantel.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear the one about the guy who compulsively masturbated at work?

He was just trying to get off.

My wife says that I'm compulsively oppositional

I have to disagree

When I was younger I used to have these little plastic cut outs for drawing around.

I’d do them all the time, almost compulsively, but there would always be more. I’d spend hours and never run out. Then I realised, I’d never be done, I’d never accomplish anything because there would always be more and long after I stopped or died they’d be there.

Anyway that’s the story of m...

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