UPJOKE

Completely Random Jokes

I hate only two things, sandwich condiments and french paintings that are completely random.

ESPECIALLY MANETS

I asked my wife what she wanted for dinner.

Wife - "I don't know."

Me, throwing out something completely random - "How about roast canard." (french for duck)

Wife - "What's a canard?"

Me - "Same as a mallard." (type of duck)

Wife - "What's a mallard?"

Me - "Same as a drake." (male duck)

Wife - "So, r...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 Guys in hell

This is the story of an engineer from intel, a guy from the pentagon, and a small skateboarder all three ended up in hell after signing a contract with the devil himself

so he says to them

\- I will give each of you a chance to go to paradise, but beware, no second chance, it's eith...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Susan and Jack both work at a small company that sells widgets.

Monday morning, their supervisor Bill, finds out there have been budget cuts and he has to let one of them go by Friday.

Bill thinks, “Jeez, this really sucks. Susan and Jack are both excellent employees, they were both hired at the same time so neither has seniority, they’re never late, nev...

Three builders are sitting on top of a building...

...when they decide to have lunch. The first builder grabs his lunch box.
"Every day for lunch my wife packs me an apple and I HATE apples. If I get another apple today, I'll jump." He opens up his lunch box and sure enough, inside is an apple. He grabs the apple, throws it as hard as he can and ...

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